


I'm waiting for some lover to call

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Phone Sex, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-03-09 07:17:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18912169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: Yuzuru had a lot of people calling him, from young women to guys that sounded like they could be his grandfathers, but Yuzuru had known what he was signing up for when he first started, eight months earlier. He had never though about working on sex phone until his friend Alex figured that it was a great business idea.aka Yuzu meets his perfect man. While working on a phone sex line. Things escalate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, we're in a fun zone, as I decided to polish my smut skills hah. Please read the tags, and if you're comfortable with all of them, then I hope you'll enjoy! Biggest thanks to K1mHeechu1 for being the most awesome human being ever.  
> Also, I so stole the title from Donna Summer's 'Hot stuff'.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Yuzuru raised his head from above his biology schoolbook to check the time. 2.13am. Less than an hour and he would be free to go to sleep. If he was lucky there would be no calls and he could spend the time on rereading that last bit for professor Wilson’s class.

No luck.

“Who do you have for me, Alex?” he sighed into the phone and Alex laughed shortly.

“Oh you might like this one. A guy, and judging by his voice he’s way younger than your ususal clientele.”

Yuzuru had a lot of people calling him, from young women to guys that souded like they could be his grandfathers, but Yuzuru had known what he was signing up for when he first started, eight months earlier. He had never though about working on sex phone until his friend Alex figured that it was a great business idea. Yuzuru had been pretty sceptical at first, but well, he needed money, more than his part time barista job could offer, and it turned out that talking to strangers and getting them off was decently paid. Sure, some of the calls were making him want to vomit, but in the end, it could have been worse.

“Okay.” Yuzuru said, sitting against the headboard and finding himself a comfortable position “You can connect me.”

“Good luck!” Alex exclaimed cheerfully and Yuzuru heard a familiar click, so he took a deep breath, trying to connect with his inner muse. He was pretty tired, but middle of the night was when he had time to do that, and well, those hours were paid better.

There was a loud inhale on the other side of the line and Yuzuru knew that the show was on.

“Hello, stranger.” he said flirtaciously “Would you share your name with me?”

“Uhhh” the caller let out mumbingly and Yuzuru scrunched his nose, confused “I’m going to... hang up.” the stranger said, sounding resigned, and Yuzuru blinked rapidly.

“No, no, wait!” he exclaimed; it was in his best business to keep the conversation going, even if it was almost 3am and he was dead tired “There is a reason you called me, right?”

“Yeah.” the stranger chuckled, and it was clear as a day that he was nervous. It was new to Yuzuru, and he couldn’t help but feel intrigued. His clients always knew what they wanted and never hesitated to tell him, so that- that was kind of refreshing.

“So?” Yuzuru pressed and the caller let a loud sigh.

“Got dumped, thought I’d like to try...something.”

“I’m honored.” Yuzuru said, and he could feel himself smiling a little, and the caller chuckled again.

“I still think I should hang up.”

“Nuh- nuh.” Yuzuru said quickly “I’m going to make you feel good first.” he said and he heard how the guy’s breathing hitched, and he knew that he was winning “So, will you tell me your name? Or how do you want me to call you when you make me come?”

“Jesus.” the stranger breathed out and Yuzuru had to bite his lip not to grin.

“I can work with that.”

“No, no. It’s, uh, Javi. Yeah.”

“Javi. I like it.” Yuzuru said, tasting the name on his tongue. He really did like it. It felt warm, and was matching the caller’s voice “What do want me to do to you, Javi?”

“I-” Javi hesitated, and Yuzuru suddenly got an idea that made him feel a bit excited.

“Have you ever been with a man before, Javi?” he asked raspily and Javi breathed out shakily.

“No.” he admitted and Yuzuru smiled broadly.

Well, that was going to be fun.

“Do you want me to fuck you? Or do you want to fuck me?”

“I want to fuck you.” Javi said, and Yuzuru was pleasantly surprised with the bolder tone of his voice.

“Just how I thought.” he purred into the phone; that, on the other hand, was a pretty typical request and Yuzuru knew the deal “You sound like a man who knows how to fuck.”

Javi didn’t say anything, but his breathing was faster than before and Yuzuru knew he was doing a good job.

“I can’t wait to feel you inside me.” Yuzuru said suggestively “But first I want to taste your cock, make it all nice and slick for me. Can I?”

“Yes.” Javi breathed out shakily “Fuck, yes.”

“I’m kneeling in front of you and looking at your cock, it’s so fucking perfect. I’m going to lick it...mmmh you taste so good, Javi.”

“Oh god-“

“I’m taking you in my mouth, oh fuck, you’re so big- ” Yuzuru moaned, having pretty good fun so far “I need to feel you deeper.”

“Fuck.” Javi whispered hoarsely, his voice dropping a few octaves, and Yuzuru felt a thrill running down his spine “Fuck, you’re good...I want to-“

“Yes, yes, tell me!”

“I want to fuck your face.” Javi stuttered, and despite his obvious arousal he still sounded a bit shy, and Yuzuru felt a wave of fondness flooding his chest.

“Yes, do it, I want to feel your cock filling my mouth... tell me what you’re doing to me, Javi, how good you want to fuck me- you’re so big and hot, it’s so good-“

“I’m thrusting into your mouth, you look so good like that.” Javi exhaled deeply and Yuzuru smiled pleasantly, glad that he grew bolder and started getting grasp on the situation. He had to admit, Javi was doing something to him, and Yuzuru could feel little sparks of arousal coiling in his belly, which was... something new. Usually he didn’t really get turned on by calls, too tired and too busy getting the job done, but there was something about Javi- maybe his voice or initial shyness- that was making him feel things.

Still, there was work to be done

“I’m taking you deeper, oh, yes... can you feel it, imagine my hot mouth around your perfect cock... fuck I need to take you deeper, I’m putting my hands on your ass to pull you closer, yes, don’t hold back-”

Yuzuru could hear Javi on the other end of the line, breathing hard and letting out quiet groans that were making Yuzuru feel things. He slowly slid his hand down and pressed it against his cock, letting out a quiet moan, that time not faking it at all.

“Fuck, I want to make you come like that, I want suck you dry-“

“No.” Javi said hoarsely “I want to fuck you. I want to come inside your ass.”

“Oh.” Yuzuru whimpered, surprised, his cock twitching “Oh yes, fuck me, fuck me with that perfect dick!”

“Oh god, I want you so bad-“

“Yes, take me!” Yuzuru ordered, sliding one hand into his pants and wrapping his fingers around his member, shuddering and moaning quietly at the sensation “How do you want me, Javi, do you want to fuck me from behind, oh please-“

“I want you to ride me.” Javi groaned and Yuzuru’s mouth fell open as he moaned at that “I want to see you come on my dick.”

At that point Yuzuru was so turned on he didn’t have to fake anything, enjoying every moment as he was stroking himself slowly, letting out quiet whimpers of pleasure.

“Fuck yes... I’m crawling on top of you and my mouth is watering, I want you inside me so bad... I’m sliding down slowly... fuck you’re so big... can you feel how ready I am for you...”

“You’re so tight, oh god, I need to fuck you-“

“Yes, do it, fuck me!” Yuzuru moaned, stroking himself.

“Faster, fuck, you’re so hot, fuck-” Javi panted into the phone and Yuzuru’s eyes rolled to the back of his chest as he felt his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach.

“I can feel you inside me, oh god, harder, harder!” he commanded breathlessly “Fuck me with your big cock, I want you to come inside me, I want you to fill me with your cum, yes yes!”

Javi let out a long, wounded groan, and that was what tipped Yuzuru over the ege, making him come inside his pants, a short cry of pleasure escaping his lips.

It took him a moment to collect himself, and he breathed out shakily, listening to Javi’s quick breathing on the other side of the line. Usually he would say something teasing and sexy, and then end a conversation, but it didn’t feel appropriate now. So he just sat there silently, waiting for Javi to say something and weirdly hoping that he wouldn’t hang up without a word.

“Wow.” Javi whispered finally, his voice a bit raspy “That was- wow.”

“I agree.” Yuzuru said softly “Definitely a wow.”

“Well, you for sure helped me to boost my self- esteem.” Javi said and Yuzuru chuckled at that. He was feeling warm and relaxed, and a bit sleepy, but he knew he needed to take a shower before getting to sleep.

“The pleasure was mine.” he said and Javi exhaled deeply.

“Okay. I guess it’s time for me. Thank you,-” he hesitated and Yuzuru’s heart skipped a beat “Well thank you, stranger.”

“Will you call again?” Yuzuru asked before he could stop himself and almost facepalmed, but Javi let out a short laughter.

“I don’t think so.” he said and Yuzuru felt a sting of disappointment “Goodnight.” Javi added and Yuzuru licked his dry lips.

“Goodnight.”

The call ended and Yuzuru sighed deeply, putting the phone away and rubbing his eyes.

Well, that was something.

He couldn’t help but hope Javi would call again.

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru was a bit gloomy for the past few days, and pretty much everyone noticed, but only Keiji was straightforward enough to point that out.

“Maybe just try to smile and not scare the customers away, what would you say about that?” he asked lightly and Yuzuru sent him a death glare before going back to preparing the order.

He knew he was being kind of stupid, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the starnger from the last week. Well, not a stranger- Javi. It was ridiculous, and Yuzuru was pretty angry at himself, but he couldn’t stop hoping that he would call again. But he hadn’t called again, and Yuzuru felt pathetically upset about that.

But Keiji was right, he was at work now, and he should look a bit more cheerful, so maybe he would get some nice tips that would allow him to take a break from the other job. So he put on his best smile and looked at the next customer.

“Hello, what can I do for you today?” he asked and the guy standing on the other side of the counter gave him a quick smile.

“One large almond milk latte.” he said and the turned around to look at the guy standing behind him “You want your usual?’

“Yeah.” the guy muttered and Yuzuru moved his gaze to him rapidly, alarmed. He had a feeling he knew him from something, even though the handsome face he was looking at didn’t really ring a bell.

“So it’s going to be one americano, black.”

Yuzuru blinked rapidly, coming back to reality.

“Can I get your names?”

“Latte for Patrick, americano for Mister Gloomy Face.” Patrick, apparently, said, and the other guy snorted.

“Fuck off.” he said, looking up, and Yuzuru felt the realization forming in his brain “It’s Javi.”

Oh fuck.

So that was how he looked like. Way too good, and Yuzuru could tell that it was going to be a disaster, because now he knew the face behind the hottest call of his life, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to cope.

Javi didn’t seem to recognize him, but that was understandable, since Yuzuru wasn’t using his... work voice, and wasn’t moaning obscenities. Javi’s smile was nice, though, and Yuzuru could feel himself blushing a little, which was ridiculous, because last week they had had pretty intense phone sex.

Javi cleared his throat and Yuzuru realized that he was staring at him like an idiot, and by now he was probably red like a tomato. He had to get a fucking grip. He gave Javi a weak smile and turned away to take care of the drinks, but he still could hear Patrick’s amused voice.

“Damn Javi, you’re on a roll recently.”

“Huh?” Javi hummed, sounding distracted, and Yuzuru had to fight an urge to peek over his shoulder.

“That guy was making some serious hearteyes at you.” Patrick said and Yuzuru had to swallow a screech that threatened to escape his lips “You would notice if you weren’t brooding over that phone guy-“

“I’m not brooding over him.” Javi muttered and Yuzuru felt like he was going to die, and he almost spilled the stupid latte.

“Yeah, sure. Ugh, shit, I need to take this. Grab my coffee and join me outside, okay?”

“Sure.”

Yuzuru spent the next two minutes on preparing the americano and fighting an inner battle between two parts of his mind that had two different ideas how to approach the situation. The choice was between jumping Javi and dying, basically.

He couldn’t decide, but he also couldn’t stall any longer, so he took a deep breath and turned around, coffees in his hands. He opened his mouth to call the name, but Javi was still standing close, and he caught Yuzuru’s eyes and smiled.

“That would be mine.” he said, taking the cups, and Yuzuru’s brain short-circuited.

He knew that if he just let Javi walk away without a word, he would be hating himself for a damn long time; even though it would be probably better to let Javi go and not go deeper into... whatever it was. In Yuzuru's job, there were boundries, and he knew that, and he knew that he should respect them. But then he thought about how Javi had made him feel, and he was too weak to not to try.

"Could you wait a moment?" he blurted out and Javi froze, fingers almost wrapping around the cups.

"Uhh, sure?" he said hesitantly, and Yuzuru had no idea how he hadn't recognized him earlier "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just-" Yuzuru laughed awkwardly "I overheard what your friend was saying. About me giving you hearteyes?"

"Oh." Javi chuckled, clearly a bit embarassed "Sorry for him, he's-"

"Well, he was kind of right?" Yuzuru said and he noticed with relief that Javi didn't look taken aback; a bit surprised, yes, but not weirded out, so Yuzuru decided to just go for it.

"So I thought-" he started, finding a pen in a pocket of his apron and grabbing the americano cup "- I thought that if you'd like to call me... you could." he finished lamely, scribbling his number on its surface. It was kind of a mystery even to him, how he was able to be all sexy and tempting during the calls, but in real life he was sometimes just so painfully unsure and awkward.

To be honest, he didn't have much hope that Javi would get interested in some random weird barista, but when he looked up he met his kind, bright eyes, and his heart melted a little.

"Huh." Javi chuckled, taking his cup "Is it three or eight, at the end?"

"Three." Yuzuru said, his throat clenched, and Javi nodded, and Yuzuru couldn't really tell if that emotion in his gaze was pity or interest.

"Okay." he said, smiling, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered "I'm, uh, flattered."

"I hope so." Yuzuru said and Javi let out a short laugh.

"Yeah, uh, thank you-" he stole a glance at the cup in his hand "- Yuzuru."

"That's me." Yuzuru smiled at him, and fuck, they had had sex, practically, why was he even getting embarassed? He just wanted to seem interesting enough for Javi to call him.

Which was ridiculous, because again, they had had sex. Pretty damn good phone sex, to be specific, and Yuzuru just hoped he wasn't wasting his maybe only chance to somehow get to know Javi better.

"I don't do that, usually." Yuzuru said, feeling like he should make it clear "I just-"

"You think I'm cute, obviously." Javi smiled, and it was interesting to discover that he was more confident in person than on the phone.

"Maybe?" Yuzuru flirted back and was delighted to get a wide smile in return.

"Okay." Javi breathed out, still smiling "I need to go, but I will- consider."

"I hope so!" Yuzuru exclaimed, his heart stuttering, and Javi gave him one more grin before walking out with his drinks, and Yuzuru knew that he was grinning like an idiot.

"And that's a smile!" Keiji broke his train of thought "Great, now get your ass back to work."

 

 

_unknown number [7.39pm] are you working tomorrow?_

_unknown number [7.40pm] sorry, it's Javi. You gave me your number._

_me [7.42pm] I work on Thursday, 2pm. will you stop by?_

_Javi [7.46pm] I might_

_me [7.47pm] I hope you will_

_Javi [7.50pm] see you on Thursday then_

 


	2. Chapter 2

Yuzuru couldn't stop himself from glancing at the door every two minutes, or even more often, probably. Keiji noticed, of course, and kept on throwing at him little amused glances.

“You look like Christmas is coming early and you want to look fancy for Santa.” he said and Yuzuru almost dropped the cup he was holding.

“What the fuck, Keiji?”

But Keiji only grinned devilishly and turned away to take another order.

And okay, maybe he was right, and Yuzuru had put extra care in styling his hair before coming to work. But it was Thursday, and it meant that there was a big possibility of seeing Javi. They hadn't really exchanged more texts after estabilishing Yuzuru's working hours, but he was clinging to hope that Javi would show up. Yuzuru didn't really have a plan for that occasion, but he really, really hoped that Javi would come. He knew that some people would question it, crossing boundries like that, but Yuzuru felt helpless against the weird feeling in his stomach when he thought about Javi's smile. Or the way he sounded when he came.

Yuzuru shuddered a little bit at the memory and he shook his head- thinking about _that_ at work wasn't the best idea.

There was a little more than an hour of his shift left when a small ball hanging over the door rang and Yuzuru looked up, and that was finally _him_.

“Hello.” Javi smiled, and Yuzuru smiled back, knowing that it was more of a wide grin.

“Hello. What can I do for you today?”

“Black americano, please.” Javi said “And then maybe you could... go for a walk with me?”

“I think I can do both. I end in about an hour?” Yuzuru smiled, with just a good amount of flirt.

“Great.” Javi nodded “I'll be right over there.” he said, pointing the corner table next to the window.

For the rest of his shift Yuzuru was basically useless, unable to tear his eyes away and trying to come up with a game plan. He thought that it would be for the best to tell Javi... to let him know what had happened between them. It would be akward as hell, but Yuzuru thought that it would be also fair. But for now, he pushed the thought aside, focusing on somehow surviving that half an hour that was still ahead of him.

“Jeez, fine, I can't look at you, you're so distracted you're about to burn yourself, or cause another disaster.” Keiji said, poking his side and grinning devilishly “Go and enjoy.”

“I hate you, but I also love you.” Yuzuru said, taking his apron off and stuffing it under the counter.

“Yeah, yeah.” Keiji snorted and Yuzuru flashed him a smile before walking over to Javi's table, feeling excitement coiling in his stomach. Javi looked up at him, a small smile lightning his face.

“Hi.” he said and damn, he was really handsome “Thank you for waiting.”

“I mean, I came here to meet you, right?” Javi chuckled and Yuzuru felt mildly akward. But Javi only smiled easily and stood up “So..huh-” he chuckled again, and Yuzuru noticed a little bit of nervousness behind that smile “- I'm sorry, I'm a little bit rusty with this.” he said and Yuzuru almost narrowed his eyes suspiciously, because he remembered Javi saying during the call that he had been dumped.

“Really?” he pressed a little as they walked outside and Javi sighed.

“I mean, my last relationship ended some time ago, but we were together for long and-” he cut himself off, shaking his head a little and giving Yuzuru a smile “Sorry, bad idea to talk about your ex on the first date, right?”

“That's fine, I asked.” Yuzuru smiled reassuringly “So, Javi, what do you do for living?” he asked, deciding to change the topic.

He still couldn't really get over how handsome Javi was. He knew he had to be attractive, if his voice was any clue, but that was... a lot. And on the top of that, he seemed so nice, which was only giving him more points.

“So I actually work in a bookstore. Also writing short pieces for one magazine, nothing big. Some people say it's boring.”

“I think it's amazing. And I can't really talk about boring, I work in a coffee shop and-”

Yuzuru bit his tongue in last second, because that didn't feel like a good moment to casually drop the dreaded 'I work on a sex line and well, I made you come last week, it was awesome'.

“And?” Javi pressed with interest and Yuzuru swallowed hard.

“And I'm studying! Microbiology. It's cool, but I almost died on today's morning class.”

“Oh that's so interesting!” Javi smiled “I was always so weak with science, I gotta admit.” he said and then his eyes widened a little “I just realized you must be so tired, and hungry. You want to stop by somewhere and grab something to eat? My treat.” he offered and Yuzuru's heart fluttered, because honestly, that man wasn't real.

“I'd love to, actually.”

Twenty minutes later they were sitting at the table in a small and not very fancy restaurant, eating fries and having pretty heated discussion.

“I can't stand ketchup. I pretty much hate tomatoes in every form.” Yuzuru confessed and Javi gaped.

“That's understandable, but why mayo? There is so many other things!”

“This is how it should be eaten, okay? Go away with your boring ketchup!” Yuzuru exclaimed and Javi laughed out loud.

To be honest, Yuzuru was beyond delighted how it was going. He was feeling great in Javi's company, relaxed and open, and Yuzuru was having the best time. He was feeling a nice warm wave spreading in his chest, and also there was some quiet voice whispering in the back of his head that he there was so much more to Javi than only his nice smile.

“So, what convinced you to write me?” Yuzuru asked a moment later when they were walking down the street, the sky in the deep shade of blue and pavements not as crowded as before.

“Ahh.” Javi grinned, shrugging “Just thought you were nice, to be honest? I think I could use some nice.”

“I think you deserve nice.”

“You're really sweet.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head a little “I'm glad you gave me your number and I didn't chicken out.”

“I'm glad too.” Yuzuru said, his voice coming softer than he intended, and he saw how Javi swallowed hard, his expression turning thoughtful. He moved just a little bit closer, unsure, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered with the realization of what was going to happen.

Javi's fingers curled against Yuzuru's jaw as he leaned in, pressing their lips together. It was slow and timid, gentle brush of lips against lips, but Yuzuru's legs still went weak. He had kissed some amount of people before, but as far as first kisses went, that one was in front ranks.

Javi pulled away before Yuzuru could deepen the kiss, smiling widely.

“Okay?” he asked softly and Yuzuru smiled back at him.

“You want feedback?”

“I just want to check if you're cool with that.”

“I'm definitely cool with that.” Yuzuru said and Javi nodded, his thumb brushing Yuzuru's collarbone before he took a step back.

“Good. I-” he started, but then Yuzuru felt vibration in his pocket and a second later his phone started ringing.

“Sorry, I'll just check-” Yuzuru muttered, cursing whoever that was calling him, but then he saw the caller's ID and surpressed urge to curse “Excuse me, I need to take it.” he said and Javi gave him an understanding smile.

“Yuzu, my man, just a reminder that today you have an earlier shift and you're staring in an hour-”

“Oh shit.” Yuzuru blurted out and blushed a little when Javi looked at him, eyebrows raised “Yeah, sure, got it. No problem, bye!”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just, uh, I need to go. There is something I have to do.” Yuzuru explained and Javi gave him a small smile.

“Of course! It's kinda late, so-” Javi shrugged, smiling a bit sheepishly “I'll see you soon?” he asked, hopefully, and Yuzuru smiled widely, nodding.

“You will.”

An hour and ten minutes later, when he was giving a verbal blowjob to some oddly sounding guy, he thought about Javi's lips and the show he put on was so convincing the guy stayed on the phone for almost an hour.

Well, at least the next time he would have some extra money to buy Javi some nice dinner. Maybe it would help him deal with the shock coming with learning about Yuzuru's second profession.

Because Yuzuru knew that he had to tell him, probably the sooner the better. He liked Javi, and he felt like keeping something like that a secret would only turn against him in the possible future. So he was going to tell him. He was going to tell him for sure.

 

* * *

 

He didn't tell Javi. Not on the next date, and not on another one, and another.

It wasn't like Yuzuru changed his mind, or that he was afraid, but they were always having such great fun, and Yuzuru just didn't want to ruin the mood.

At that point, Yuzuru was ready to admit that he was smitten. It was barely a month since their first date, but Yuzuru already knew that he had it bad. Because Javi was funny and kind, also hot as hell and Yuzuru honestly couldn't wait when they would get to bed. But Javi seemed to be a little bit hesitant in that matter, always careful not to go past kissing, and Yuzuru didn't want to push him. It was still super early, and Yuzuru knew he couldn't even call it a full relationship, more like... hanging out a lot, and doing some kissing. Also. he still remembered what Javi had said during the call, that he hadn't had experience with men, and after a few days Yuzuru got enough clues to believe it was true.

Still, Javi was super sweet. On the fifth date he took Yuzuru to an aquapark and honestly, that was the most fun date Yuzuru ever had. Also, seeing Javi in swimming trunks made such things to him he had to spend solid ten minutes under the cold shower in a changing room.

So, they still didn't spoke about _that_ , but one evening they ended up talking about Javi's ex.

“She was also coming from a Spanish family, and we knew each other since childhood. You know, we were that couple for which people were waiting to get together and placing bets when it would happen.” Javi said with a chuckle “My sister won, by the way.”

“Were you together for a long time?” Yuzuru asked, his stomach churning just a little bit, and Javi's expression softened.

“Four years.” he said gently “But a few weeks ago it felt still so fresh, you know?”

“I believe.” Yuzuru nodded and Javi gave him a sheepish smile.

“I'm sorry, this is such a topic, I-”

“Hey, I asked.” Yuzuru shrugged, and Javi sighed.

“It's in the past, you know? Although not so long ago, when I was still coping, I did something pretty embarassing.” Javi chuckled, tapping his phone, and Yuzuru froze.

“Oh?” he let out weakly, and Javi nodded, a shade of blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah. I'd rather not talk about it, tho. It was a bad idea, like, really bad.”

“Sure.” Yuzuru said and Javi grinned, continuing with some other topic, but Yuzuru only pretended to be listening to him, because his heart and thoughts were racing.

So, Javi was embarassed about the call. Didn't want to talk about it. Thought it was a mistake.

How Yuzuru could tell him the truth, now? Javi would feel embarassed and angry, and he would dump Yuzuru on the spot, and that would be it.

Yuzuru couldn't let that happen. He was good at keeping secrets, he for sure could manage-

“Hey, Yuzu, are you okay? You drifted away for a moment.”

Yuzuru blinked and focused his eyes on Javi, who was smiling at him kindly.

“Yeah, sorry.” Yuzuru cleared his throat “Could you repeat?”

He would make it work. Somehow.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my lovely wife for reading through it and her awesome beta skills <333

“Oh yes!” Yuzuru exclaimed into the phone, successfully turning a yawn into a moan “Oh yes, harder!”

The guy on the other side of the line went crazy, and Yuzuru kept on moaning and gasping while absently flipping the pages of his textbook. Usually he wasn't multitasking like that, but well, he had a test coming the next morning, and his current client wasn't too demanding, doing the most of talking and being perfectly satisfied with perfectly fake sound of enthusiasm Yuzuru was letting out.

Thankfully, the call ended pretty soon and Yuzuru threw the phone away, glad that there was only five minutes left of his shift and there was no chance someone would call. He padded to the kitchen to grab something to drink and he thought dizzily that he should probably change his working hours, because it was starting to be too demanding lately, and he definitely wasn't getting enough of sleep. Sure, the money was great, but maybe not worth feeling like a zombie for half a day.

He got back to bed and grabbed his phone, making sure that he had his alarm set, when he saw a new message he hadn't noticed before.

 

_Javi [2.45am] good luck on your test tomorrow! I hope you're sleeping and you'll see this message in the morning tho_

_me [3.05am] thank you :* why are you awake?_

_Javi [3.06am] omg go to sleep!!!_

_Javi [3.06am] maybe I'm too busy thinking about you_

 

Yuzuru couldn't help but squeal a little, feeling giddy. Javi was a master flirt, and he never failed to make Yuzuru feel all warm and happy, even when he was dead tired.

 

_Javi [3.09am] but for real, I was thinking that maybe I could pick you up after your shift tomorrow and we could have a dinner together_

_Javi [3.10am] at my place maybe? I could cook you something nice_

_me [3.11am] I'd love to!!!_

_Javi [3.13am] I see you tomorrow then! And go to sleep, for real_

 

Yuzuru grinned to himself before putting the phone away and turning the nightlamp off, laying down and exhaling deeply, staring at the dark ceiling. He still couldn't quite believe how lucky he got, and how good everything was going. They were still in such an early phase, getting to know each other, hanging out, but Yuzuru was ready to tell that it was probably going to turn into something serious, if they wanted to take it that direction. And Yuzuru wanted that, definitely. Javi was kind, funny and handsome, and he was making him feel butterflies in his stomach. So far, he was kind of perfect.

But there was just one thing.

Yuzuru winced, suddenly not feeling really sleepy anymore.

He had decided that he wouldn't confess to Javi that he was working on a sex hotline, and he definitely wouldn't tell him that they had talked before. Javi had hinted that he wasn't really proud of that, and that he was feeling embarrassed about it, and Yuzuru wasn't going to take that risk.

It had taken him some time, but he figured that he could keep it all a secret. Honestly, he was so lucky that Javi hadn't recognized his voice, but maybe it related to the fact that Yuzuru wasn't moaning and using some expressive dirty language. And well, maybe he wasn't visiting that memory too often, if it was so unpleasant. Either way, Yuzuru was pretty determined to make this work. He just had to be a little bit careful, and after some time he would be able to drop that damn job and let it all fade away.

 

* * *

 

There was still half an hour left before the end of his shift, and he kept glancing at the door, just like on that day weeks earlier when he had been waiting for Javi to come. And just like then, Keiji kept on throwing him amused glanced.

“You're waiting for your Romeo to show up?” he asked teasingly and Yuzuru rolled his eyes.

“You're just jealous.”

“I mean, if I were into men, I'd definitely try to steal him, he's pretty hot-”

Yuzuru gasped at that, ready to give him some death threat, but in that moment the door opened, and a pretty young woman rushed in, hair dishevelled and eyes sparkling, and she grinned widely when he saw Yuzuru.

“Hi!” she exclaimed, making her way to the counter, and Yuzuru barely opened his mouth to greet her, when the door opened again and he saw Javi coming in, his expression half amused, and half panicked.

“Laura stooop!” he whined, walking closer and Yuzuru blinked rapidly, connecting the facts.

Oh.

“Hi, I'm Laura, sister of this one.” she said, confirming what Yuzuru was thinking “He tried so hard to stop me, but he had no chance.”

“Uhhh, hi.” Yuzuru smiled at her “It's nice to meet you.” he said, glancing at Javi, who looked mildly embarrassed, his cheeks flushed as he gave Yuzuru a sheepish smile that made his heart melt a little.

“Oh, by the way, could I get that seasonal tea I'm seeing? On the green brew.” Laura asked, grinning “I didn't come here only to meet my little brother's boyfriend, in the end-” she said carelessly and Yuzuru gaped, while Javi's face turned even redder.

Laura sensed the sudden tension, because he glanced at Javi, raising her eyebrows.

“It's the right guy I'm talking to, right?”

“Uhhh.” Javi stammered, clearly lost for words, and Laura gave him a disapproving look before turning back to Yuzuru, her eyes searching.

“Well-” Yuzuru cleared his throat, glancing at Javi “- I guess I'm the boyfriend.” he said and Javi's face lit up with a blinding smile. Javi smiled back, feeling all warm and giddy, and then finally turned around to prepare Laura's order, ignoring the wide grin Keiji was sending his way. He could vaguely hear Javi and Laura's voices behind him, and he felt like laughing.

“Here you go.” he said, handing Laura her drink, and she flashed him a smile.

“Thank you so much.” she said, taking a quick sip “Oh, it's good! Okay, I'm running, you guys have fun!” she said, patting Javi's shoulder before walking out, and Yuzuru was left face to face with still blushing Javi.

He looked adorable like that, all flustered but still smiling.

“Sorry for that.” he said, leaning against the counter; the shop was basically empty, so they could talk for a moment “I was meeting her before and I mentioned that I was going to pick you up and well... she runs faster than me.” he chuckled nervously and Yuzuru's heart fluttered.

“I don't mind, she's nice.” he said softly, reaching to take Javi's hand “And well, she informed me that I'm your boyfriend, so I'm her biggest fan now.”

“Yes?” Javi brightened up “So you, um, you-”

“Yeah.” Yuzuru chuckled, leaning forward a bit, but before they could kiss, he felt a towel smacking his shoulder.

“No smooching at work!” Keiji announced loudly, making them jump away “You still have ten minutes left.”

Yuzuru threw him a murderous glance while Javi laughed sheepishly, scratching his neck.

“So, I'm, uh, going to wait there.” he pointed the nearest table and Yuzuru sent him a bright smile, and even Keiji's shit eating grin couldn't bring his mood down.

 

 

“Hello, kitty!” Yuzuru cooed, crouching to pet her head and earning himself a content purr in return “You're a cutie, aren't you?”

“She loves attention.” Javi chuckled “She will follow us to the kitchen and beg for food, but don't give her any, she needs some serious diet.”

“How dare you, she is perfect.” Yuzuru said, giving her one more pat before going to the kitchen with Javi, helping him carry all the groceries they had bought.

Javi's apartment looked nice, not very big, but so far pretty clean and cosy. Yuzuru couldn't help but feel excited; it was a good day so far. He was pretty sure he had aced his test, customers at the coffee shop weren't bitches, and well, they established that they were boyfriends. And now he was in Javi's kitchen, helping him with preparing vegetables, and everything was pretty great. He had let Alex know that he would be unavailable for work that night, so he was looking forward to having a nice evening on Javi's couch.

“Okay, the veggies are done, now I'm going to take care of the rest.” Javi said, smiling widely “You could open the wine, though.”

“And then relax while watching you cook?”

“I mean, not a bad option, right?” Javi chuckled and Yuzuru grinned in response, because that was a really, really good option. Javi looked hot like that, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, glasses still on, hair slightly dishevelled, and Yuzuru felt a small spark of arousal coiling in his stomach. He shook his head a little, taking a sip of his wine and trying to keep his thoughts at bay. Small steps, small steps.

 

Two hours later the small steps were forgotten as Yuzuru gasped against Javi's mouth, fingers curling on his shoulders.

They had eaten the dinner- it was delicious, by the way- and drank their wine before moving to the living room to watch some movie, but somehow Yuzuru ended up on Javi's lap, making out rather passionately. Yuzuru was feeling a bit dizzy, Javi's touch addicting, and every time they pulled away to catch their breath, Yuzuru was instantly going back to kiss him again, every time more heated than the previous one.

He shuddered when he felt Javi's fingers unbuttoning the top of his shirt, exposing Yuzuru's collarbone and then moving his lips there, biting gently, and Yuzuru inhaled sharply, a spark of pleasure running down his spine.

“Javi.” he gasped, tangling his fingers in Javi's hair and tugging gently, making him look up. He didn't add anything, suddenly feeling a bit shy. Javi looked at him with wide, dark eyes, hands curling on Yuzuru's waist, his expression filled with want.

“Yeah?” he breathed out and Yuzuru bit his lip, rolling his hips a little, making both of them gasp quietly at the friction.

“Oh god.” Javi said shakily and Yuzuru smiled at that fondly.

“I don't want to rush.” he muttered, carding his fingers through Javi's hair “But I want you really bad right now.” he said clearly and Javi let out a deep breath.

“I want you too.” he admitted, his cheeks turning pink “But I, uh, I never-” he stammered and Yuzuru's heart fluttered.

“It's okay. I can teach you.” he said, leaning to brush his lips along Javi's jaw “But I want you to be comfortable, and I'm going to wait for you to be ready, okay?” he asked, pulling back to look at Javi's face, and he gaped at the overwhelming affection in Javi's eyes.

“Well-” Javi swallowed hard before smiling, bright and a bit shy “I actually thought about it and I guess I... I'd like to try. With you. If you're okay with that.”

“Of course, I'm okay with that.” Yuzuru chuckled, rolling his hips pointedly and Javi moaned quietly.

“Okay, we're moving this party to the bedroom.” he ordered breathlessly and Yuzuru giggled before leaning in for a kiss and then standing up, letting Javi take his hand and lead him to the bedroom.

Yuzuru had a plan, how to make sure that Javi wouldn't recognize him. The plan was to be the opposite of his phone persona. No dirty talk, no obscene sounds. All cute and quiet. It couldn't be that hard, right?

They spent solid fifteen minutes on making out lazily, hands sneaking under clothes, testing, and Yuzuru loved the feeling of Javi's warm skin under his palm, the way his muscles flexed, how his hips rolled against Yuzuru's, seeking a bit of friction.

It took them some time to undress, kissing and touching every inch of revealed skin, and Yuzuru's mouth watered when he got rid of Javi's shirt because fuck, he looked so good. Javi noticed where his gaze went, and he smiled slyly.

“You like what you see, huh?” he teased.

“You're the hottest man I've ever seen.” Yuzuru blurted out and Javi gaped but collected himself quickly.

“You're not so bad yourself.” he said with a glint in his eyes, and Yuzuru had to kiss him again.

There was some laughter when they fumbled with their pants and underwear, but then finally they both were naked, sitting on the bed and facing each other, a bottle of lube and condoms arranged neatly within their reach.

“So-” Javi smiled, blushing “Umm, how are we doing this?”

“How would you like it?” Yuzuru asked, smiling back, and Javi shrugged sheepishly.

“I though, that maybe you could, umm-” he patted his thigh, smiling shyly, and Yuzuru had pretty good idea what he wanted.

“Okay.” Yuzuru smiled, moving to sit in Javi's lap, shuddering when their erections rubbed against each other, and he put his hands on Javi's shoulders, pushing gently to make him lay on his back.

Javi watched with hungry eyes how Yuzuru reached for the bottle of lube, slicking his fingers before reaching behind himself, giving Javi a bright smile. But the smile died on his lips as he pushed one finger inside and he had to bite his lip not to let out a loud whimper. It was some time since he had done that, and his body was responding eagerly to the sensation, and Javi's lust- filled expression wasn't helping Yuzuru with keeping his composure. It became even harder with adding the second finger, and his lips fell open as he breathed out deeply, trying to hold everything in.

“Holy shit.” Javi whispered raggedly, putting his hand on Yuzuru's chest and sliding it down, teasing his skin and then wrapping his fingers around Yuzuru's cock, stroking lazily, and Yuzuru's eyes fell open in a scream he managed not to let out.

“Okay.” he said, his voice strained “It's okay now.”

He moved back a little, reaching for the pack of condoms and taking one out, but his fingers are suddenly shaking so bad he couldn't open it.

“Hey.” Javi said softly, grabbing his hands and squeezing them gently “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just-” Yuzuru stuttered “It's a big responsibility, you know?” he tried to joke and Javi smiled at him blindingly.

“You're the sweetest.” he said fondly before taking the package from Yuzuru's fingers and opening it quickly, rolling the condom on with a practiced ease that made Yuzuru's stomach churn a bit.

“Okay, so now-” Javi hummed teasingly and Yuzuru managed to regain his composure.

“Now we need more of that.” he said, grabbing the lube and then taking his time applying it on Javi's cock, enjoying the small sounds of pleasure spilling from his lips.

“Is so much teasing really needed?” Javi asked breathlessly and Yuzuru chuckled, leaning down to kiss him briefly.

“Sorry.” he said, not sorry at all, before bracing his hands on the both sides of Javi, looking him in the eyes “You ready?”

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” Javi teased and Yuzuru chuckled, positioning himself and taking a deep breath. He could do it. He just had to focus on Javi, he could do it-

It was so much more than he had been expecting, the feeling of sliding down Javi's shaft, slow and careful, and Yuzuru gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying out, because it was so good everything inside him burned. Javi, on the other hand, wasn't holding back at all, every emotion clear on his face.

“Oh fuck.” he whispered hoarsely, his hands gripping Yuzuru's hips tightly “You feel so good.” he moaned and Yuzuru couldn't help a quiet whimper from leaving his lips at those words. He had heard them before, but it was so much different now, because Javi was now there with him, his body hot and strong, and filling Yuzuru perfectly.

“I need a moment.” he whispered, looking down at Javi who smiled at him, his hand moving up and down Yuzuru's side in a warm, comforting gesture.

“Everything okay?” he asked softly and Yuzuru just nodded silently, smiling.

All he wanted to do was to tell Javi how much he enjoyed that, and how good it felt to have him inside, and how many times he had imagined that moment. But instead he just took a deep breath and leaned down to kiss Javi, deep and hot, tasting his quiet, eager moans. And then he straightened up, bracing his hands on Javi's chest to steady himself, locking their gazes together.

“Okay.” he whispered before slowly raising on his knees and then going back down in a slow, careful rhythm, and all air was knocked out from Yuzuru's lungs, because it was already good, and he couldn't stop himself from picking up the pace, his lips falling open.

“Oh, oh fuck.” Javi moaned, his back arching, hips thrusting up and making Yuzuru gasp loudly “Sorry, I-”

“No, don't stop.” Yuzuru said, desperately trying to control his voice “Just like that.”

It was good, so good, the rhythm they managed to find, Javi's hips meeting Yuzuru's, his thrusts filling him perfectly and lightning his nerves on fire. Yuzuru watched him all the time, hypnotized by his expression, slack with pleasure, listening to his loud, untamed moans, the sounds so erotic Yuzuru's head was spinning. He could feel his own pleasure coiling in the pit of his stomach, hot and burning, and he was panting loudly, trying to use his last grasp on reality to hold everything in.

“You're so tight, oh my god.” Javi groaned hoarsely and Yuzuru shuddered “So hot and tight around me.” he grasped Yuzuru's hips tighter, making him go down even harder, and Yuzuru's back arched, Javi's cock hitting that spot inside him that was setting his body on fire.

The pace was frantic now, every move bringing him closer to his orgasm, and judging by the litany falling from Javi's lips, he was close too.

“Fuck, fuck, I need you to come.” he moaned, tracing Yuzuru's stomach before grabbing his cock “Come for me, please, I need to feel you, I need you to come!” he babbled, pumping Yuzuru's cock with fast, tight moves, and Yuzuru's body shuddered violently as came, stronger than he had in months, biting his lip so hard he felt a metallic taste of blood on his tongue.

He didn't care about that, though, because a moment later Javi let out a loud, pained cry as his own orgasm took control over him, his hips jerking up harshly, making Yuzuru squirm before he fell on Javi's chest, panting heavily against his neck.

He had no idea how long it took him to come back to his senses, as he was lying there, feeling Javi's heartbeat against his own, his limbs feeling heavy and head filled with cotton, muscles still spasming in aftershocks.

That was... so much. So much more.

Javi exhaled shakily, his hand running along Yuzuru's spine slowly before resting on the small of his back.

“You okay?” he asked hoarsely and Yuzuru hummed in response before making an effort to raise a little and slide off Javi, shuddering at the loss of contact before laying on his side to look at Javi's face.

“Are you?” he asked, his voice raw, and Javi smiled at him softly, his eyes sparkling.

“I'm great.” he said quietly, reaching to brush his thumb along Yuzuru's lower lip, and something flickered in his expression, something that made Yuzuru feel alert despite the pleasant warmth spreading in his body.

“Hey?” he asked, clearing his throat “You sure everything is cool?”

“Yeah, just-” Javi started, a deep blush creeping on his neck “You were, umm, pretty quiet, and I just-” he stammered, his face turning red too “- I mean... was it good?” he blurted out and Yuzuru blinked rapidly, shocked. And then Javi's words caught up to him, and he felt an awful weight settling in his chest.

“You were amazing.” he said, and he wasn't lying “Really, you were great.” he leaned forward to brush his lips against Javi's “It's just, umm... I guess that's the way I am?”

It was a lie, of course. Yuzuru tended to be pretty vocal in bed, he liked some dirty talk and being expressive about everything he wanted and felt. But with Javi, he was too scared to really let go, and he had thought that would be for the better, a way to keep his secret safe.

But now he was looking at Javi's face, so kind and honest, but with a shadow of an uncertainty in his eyes, and he realized that he was the one who had put it in there. Javi had trusted him and Yuzuru still managed to make him feel unsure about his first time with a man.

Fucking fantastic.

“I'm sorry.” he added lamely and Javi shook his head rapidly.

“No, not, it's okay!” he smiled and Yuzuru felt like he didn't deserve it “I just, uh, was afraid that-” he shrugged sheepishly “Well I hope you don't mind that I was, you know, talking-” he babbled and Yuzuru felt like he could cry, honestly.

“You were perfect, really.” he said through his clenched throat, taking Javi's hand and kissing it, and Javi's eyes brightened up.

“Good! I'm glad.” he chuckled “We can work on that, I guess.” he said with a wink before leaning in to press a kiss to Yuzuru's lips and then basically jumping out of the bed “So, I'm going to take a quick shower first, then you can clean yourself up too and in the meantime I'll get us something to eat, we have some dinner leftovers.” he announced cheerfully, kissing Yuzuru's cheek before making his way to the bathroom, not bothering with covering himself up, looking relaxed and confident.

It felt like Yuzuru was holding his breath for so long and only remembered to breathe when he heard the shower working, accompanied with Javi's cheerful singing. He inhaled shakily, rubbing his face as he tried to figure out what the fuck he was doing and how he was supposed to keep going like that. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuzu, you dum dum, your plan sucks *facepalm*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So  
> my endless love goes to K1mHeechu1, who saves you from a million typos and brand new English words I invented. She's the greatest and also this fic wouldn't exist if it weren't for her so all the love ❤️

It was a fucking mistake, and Yuzuru knew it, he knew it so well, but he was in too deep to go back now. The last two weeks had been a blur, and Yuzuru wasn't sure how he was even functioning anymore, because he felt like he was losing control over what was going on in his life.

Honestly, there were so many moments when he wished he had told Javi the truth earlier, maybe the moment they had met in the coffee shop. He had thought that he would manage to keep it a secret, but it was getting almost impossible; especially in moments like that, with Javi panting hotly against his ear, moving fast and hard- Yuzuru couldn't even think, and almost couldn't remember why he was so desperately trying to keep everything in. What were the chances that Javi would recognize him, really?

Still, he was too damn scared to risk it. He couldn't allow himself to lose Javi, not now, not when-

“Come on.” Javi groaned hoarsely, wrapping his arm around Yuzuru's thigh to pull his leg up, finding a new angle that made Yuzuru's body light up, the air leaving his throat in loud, ugly wheezes “Come on, baby, come for me.” Javi muttered raspingly, hips snapping, teeth sinking in the flesh of Yuzuru's shoulder, and Yuzuru's body shuddered violently as he came, tears spilling from his eyes and a loud sob escaping his lips. Javi came a few moments later, his hips twitching and making Yuzuru cry out quietly, hands clutching Javi's shoulders.

He closed his eyes, breathing raggedly and not feeling real until Javi shifted a bit and breathed out shakily.

“Why are you crying?” he asked quietly and Yuzuru felt a gentle hand wiping his tears away “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“I'm fine.” Yuzuru choked out, opening his eyes and that only made more tears run down his cheeks, and Javi's soft, concerned expression wasn't helping the case. “Just- a lot.”

“Oh.” he hummed before leaning forward and pressing gentle kisses to Yuzuru's face “Talk to me, okay?”

Yuzuru was in the most bizarre state ever. His muscles were still trembling after an amazing orgasm, but mentally feeling like shit.

What was he even doing?

It was so much harder than at the beginning. Not only because Javi was improving his already impressive skills, but also because Yuzuru cared about him so much, the weight of his secret was almost impossible to bear.

Javi moved his lips to trace Yuzuru's neck, his touches gentle and soothing, and Yuzuru exhaled sharply, sniffling quietly. That made Javi withdraw a little and look in Yuzuru's eyes, cupping his cheek.

“Hey.” he murmured “What's the matter?”

Yuzuru just shook his head and took Javi's face in his hands, bringing him closer for a kiss.

“I'm sorry.” he said quietly, meaning more than he could tell “I didn't want to freak you out.”

“You didn't.” Javi reassured him quickly, pecking him on the lips one more time before sitting back on his heels and giving Yuzuru a bright, warm smile “Do you need something? Water? Or maybe you're hungry, I could-”

“I'm going to go take a shower.” Yuzuru, scrambling out of the bed and giving Javi a smile before basically running away.

He breathed out shakily as he leaned against the tiles and turned the water on. His heart was beating fast, too fast, and there was a lump in his throat that didn’t allow him to breathe properly. He pressed a hand to his mouth, trying to muffle a sob threatening to escape his lips.

It was so wrong, what he was doing.

Yuzuru had always liked sex, and sex with Javi was great. He was a fast learner, and he was eager and caring, and he was making Yuzuru feel so good. But Yuzuru couldn't fully enjoy it, because there was still a fear inside him, an ugly whisper that wasn't allowing him to let go completely. What was the worst, though, was that Javi was clearly sensing that something was off. It was hard not to notice, when Yuzuru was bursting into tears while he came.

Yuzuru felt terrible about that. Their relationship was still so fresh, first one Javi had ever had with a man, and Yuzuru should be the one stronger and more confident, taking the lead and helping Javi navigate through it all.

Yuzuru had no idea what to do.

When he got back to the bedroom, Javi smiled brightly at him, gesturing at the night table.

"I made you some tea, the one you liked last time. Also, I changed the sheets so you can jump in and roll around." Javi announced cheerfully and then his smile softened a little "Would you like to stay the night? We can watch some movies and cuddle?"

"I'd like that." Yuzuru smiled back, relaxing a little.

They settled in a comfortable position, Javi sitting against the headboard, Yuzuru snuggled against his chest, and then found some random movie Javi had queued and pressed play.

Sitting like that, in Javi's arms, his breath tickling the top of Yuzuru's head- it was nice, and it was safe, and Yuzuru felt like all the struggle was worth it.

"Yuzu." Javi suddenly said after a few minutes "You would tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Of course." Yuzuru answered quickly, fingers catching the hem of Javi's shirt, playing with it a bit nervously "But everything is fine, I promise."

"Okay." Javi hummed "That's good. So, by the way, I was wondering... but you don't have to agree..."

"What is it?" Yuzuru asked anxiously, pulling back a little to look into Javi's face. He noticed with relief that Javi didn't have any weird expression on, he was just smiling a bit sheepishly.

"So, I thought... maybe you would like to meet my parents? For coffee or dinner... they just, uh, Laura was teasing me about you the last time I stopped by and well, they got really excited." Javi chuckled nervously "I'm sorry, I know it can be a little too early for you, so it's totally fi-" he didn't get to finish, because Yuzuru surged forward, shutting him up with a kiss.

"I'd love to." he mumbled against Javi's mouth "If they're as nice as Laura, I'll become their biggest fan."

"Oh my god, they're going to adore you." Javi exhaled, and Yuzuru was thrilled to see his eyes sparkling happily "I was afraid it would scare you off-"

Yuzuru kissed him again, melting against Javi's chest, enjoying when a steadying arm wrapped around his waist. Maybe it was weird, him being so stressed about their sex life, but pretty excited at the thought of meeting Javi's family. It would be another small step forward, and from what Javi had told him, his family was rather awesome.

"I'm so glad." Javi chuckled, carding his fingers through Yuzuru's hair before leaning in to kiss his nose "Okay, let's go back to the movie, maybe-"

"Why, I like this better than the movie." Yuzuru said, making Javi giggle.

"Yeah, I can see." he hummed, caressing Yuzuru's cheek, and some new emotion flickered in his eyes. "Hey." he said quietly, his hand sliding to rest on the side of Yuzuru's neck "I'm sorry for asking again, but... are you sure everything is okay? Just-" he sighed, shaking his head a little, as if he wanted to apologize for bringing the topic up "- you cried, so I just-" he shrugged and Yuzuru's heart thudded in his chest.

He couldn't tell Javi everything, but he could tell him the bigger part of the problem.

"It's-" he swallowed hard and shifted a bit, so now he was fully facing Javi "It's very important to me. This. You and me." he confessed and Javi's face lit up with a wide, blinding smile; Yuzuru felt his heart fluttering.

"It's very important to me too." Javi admitted softly, and Yuzuru, who perhaps would have tried to examine those words any other day before dissolving in a wave of giddy excitement, just surged forward, crashing their lips together and climbing to sit in Javi's lap.

"Oh." Javi chuckled breathlessly, placing his hands on Yuzuru's waist to steady him "This is so much enthusiasm-"

"Are you complaining?" Yuzuru asked, moving his lips to kiss his neck, and Javi sighed, throwing his head back.

"Never." he muttered, his voice lower than just a moment before and Yuzuru felt a spike of arousal running up his spine as he was struck with a devilish idea that wouldn't make him spill anything but also very probably would make Javi feel even better and maybe also make him forget about that embarrassing crying accident.

"Oh." Javi gasped when he got the clue about what Yuzuru was about to do- and to be fair he got it pretty late, only when Yuzuru moved his hand to the top of Javi's leg, squeezing gently "Oh, so you-"

"Yeah, me." Yuzuru chuckled fondly, looking at Javi in the eyes. It was quite charming, how Javi could be still a little bit embarrassed in moments like that, even though during sex he seemed to be pretty confident and comfortable now- much more comfortable than Yuzuru, but that was his own fucking fault.

"Unless you don't want to." Yuzuru added, but he could tell that Javi was pretty aroused by now, judging by his quickened breathing and the outline of his cock straining against the thin fabric of his pants.

"Of course I want to!" Javi exclaimed and then made the most hilarious expression "Just-"

"Well good thing I want it too." Yuzuru said with a wink, feeling sure and relaxed again "Now let's get rid of that." he said, patting Javi's hip and drawing a muffled chuckle out of him.

When the pants were out of the way Yuzuru took a moment to admire all the revealed skin. He had seen Javi completely naked less than an hour before, but it still made Yuzuru's breathing hitch. There was just something about him, his flat stomach, muscular thighs and such a nice cock, now half hard and tempting.

Yuzuru almost said it out loud, how much he wanted to take Javi's cock into his mouth and suck until he made him scream. He bit his lip, though, and decided that actions would speak better than any words he shouldn't say out loud anyway.

Yuzuru shifted a bit, getting himself comfortable on his knees before leaning down and giving Javi's cock a strong, slow lick all the way from the base to the tip, drawing a soft moan out of Javi's lips.

Yuzuru kept on doing that, playing a little, planting little kisses along Javi's length, letting his tongue dance around the tip teasingly before letting his lips wander back down.

"Ohhh." Javi gasped loudly, his fingers tangling in Yuzuru's hair, pulling lightly "Oh this is good." he muttered and Yuzuru smiled slightly. He knew he was good, he always enjoyed that, and with Javi it felt even better, because Javi... Javi was important, and kind, and now he was whimpering quietly and encouragingly, and Yuzuru shivered with both excitement and pleasure sparking somewhere deep in his stomach.

"Yuzu." Javi breathed out, his grip on Yuzuru's hair tightening a little, and Yuzuru decided to take mercy on him. He wrapped his lips around the tip of Javi's cock, sucking gently, and Javi moaned, a bit louder than before, and Yuzuru absolutely loved that sound, a little choked out and so incredibly sexy.

Yuzuru felt great like that, powerful, in control, free to do whatever he wanted. It was freeing, to let go like that, not being held back by his own fear.

"Yuzu." Javi moaned again, and Yuzuru felt how a muscle in Javi's thigh flexed under his palm. He knew what it meant, and it made Yuzuru's heart flutter.

He pulled back and Javi whined, clearly not happy with that.

"Shhh." Yuzuru whispered, pressing a few kisses to Javi's stomach before looking up at him "Don't worry. I will take care of you." he said before ducking down again, that time taking him deeper, and Javi positively keened, his hips thrusting forward just a little bit as exhaled deeply.

"Sorry." he wheezed and Yuzuru pulled back again, making an eye contact with Javi, feeling warm.

"It's okay." he said, pressing a kiss to the tip "You don't have to be careful." he added, and before Javi could say anything, he took him in his mouth once more.

He could tell that Javi was pretty wound up now, his muscles trembling, the whines leaving his mouth louder and higher, and Yuzuru started feeling dizzy; he could feel his own erection waking up, but he didn't care about that, too focused on taking Javi deeper into his mouth, bringing one hand down to stroke the places his lips couldn't reach.

"Oh fuck, fuck." Javi stammered, his back arching, hips thrusting forward into Yuzuru's mouth and making him gag a little, but he didn't let go, enjoying the way Javi's length felt in his tongue.

It didn't take long after that. Suddenly Javi let out a hoarse groan, and he pushed at Yuzuru's shoulder weakly.

"I'm going to, Yuzu, I-" he babbled and Yuzuru knew what he meant, but instead of pulling away he just sucked harder and after a moment Javi tensed up and then came with a loud wail, spilling down Yuzuru's throat.

It was a bit of a challenge, to swallow everything up, and Yuzuru winced a bit at the taste, but the dazed look on Javi's face was worth that tiny bit of discomfort. Javi's eyes were closed, his chest heaving, his neck and cheeks flushed. Yuzuru grinned to himself pleasantly before reaching to the bedside table to grab that cup of tea Javi had prepared for him. It was cold now, but still tasty, and Yuzuru drank it greedily before looking at Javi again, who was now looking back at him, his expression warm and a little bit stunned.

"Come here." he said, opening his arms, and Yuzuru smiled, leaning forward to press against his chest and hide his face against Javi's shoulder. They sat like that for a moment, Yuzuru listening to Javi's heartbeat, strong and slow now, and he sighed contentedly, feeling a bit sleepy.

"Thank you." Javi muttered, pressing a kiss to his temple and Yuzuru giggled, nuzzling against his neck "Do you want me to-" Javi trailed off, and Yuzuru shook his head slightly, not changing his position.

"I'm good." he said truthfully and Javi hummed quietly, kissing him again.

"I think there's no point in trying to get into this movie now." he said and Yuzuru chuckled quietly.

"Yeah." he agreed and then whined when Javi started untangling himself from Yuzuru's grip. Javi laughed at that, and Yuzuru was glad to learn that he moved only to put the laptop away and turn the lights off. A moment later, they were moving around to find a comfortable position. It took them only a few seconds and then Yuzuru exhaled deeply, glued to Javi's side, nuzzling against his t- shirt.

It was comfortable and warm, and Yuzuru couldn't really think about anyone else he had felt so comfortable sleeping with. Javi was special, what they had was special too, and Yuzuru knew he had to do everything he could to protect it.

"It's funny, you know?" Javi mumbled, sleepiness apparently catching up to him too "Not so long ago, I didn't even know you. And now-" he chuckled, carding his fingers through Yuzuru's hair "- I'm just so happy you thought I was worth asking out."

Yuzuru didn't say anything to that, his mind fuzzy and throat clenched, so he just dropped a kiss to Javi's shoulder, moving even closer and thinking that he never wanted to let go.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, don't worry." Javi said, squeezing Yuzuru's hand and smiling gently "They don't bite."

"I'm not worrying, just, you know-" Yuzuru shrugged, smiling back "- I want to make a good impression."

"There is no way you could make a bad impression on someone." Javi announced, pressing the doorbell button before Yuzuru had any chance to say something back.

When the door opened a few seconds later Yuzuru was greeted by already familiar smile and a pair of beautiful eyes.

"Hello Yuzuru!" Laura exclaimed cheerfully "And hello to you too, brother."

"Hi, Laura." Javi chuckled, leaning to kiss her cheek "How are you?"

"Good, good." she waved, stepping aside to let them in "Come, come, mom was already panicking that you were going to be late."

"Well we're here now." Javi said, tugging Yuzuru's hand gently "Okay, time to jump into that pool." he added and Yuzuru snorted.

"That was an interesting one." he said while Laura rolled her eyes.

"You mean a tragic one." she said "Okay, let's go, I'm hungry!"

Javi's mom was the tiniest woman Yuzuru had seen in his entire life, and when she went for a hug, he was scared he would crush her.

"It's so nice to meet you, Yuzuru!" she exclaimed, and he smiled, a little overwhelmed by all the affection. Javi had warned him that his family was like that, and it wasn't uncomfortable, it just something he wasn't exactly used to. Also, he had been in that situation only once, meeting his boyfriend's parents, and it was all the way back in high school. Still, Javi's family seemed lovely so far and Yuzuru wasn't really stressed about it.

"Javi was keeping you a bit of a secret." Javi's dad laughed when they all sat down with their drinks "He was barely hinting he was seeing someone, but then Laura decided to spill a little."

"Yeah, thanks for that." Javi chuckled and Laura stuck her tongue at him.

"I'm sorry, brother, but you were asking for that, walking around with that secretive smile and all."

They asked a few general, polite questions about Yuzuru's life, about what was he doing, about his family. They were all nice, curious but not pushing, and Yuzuru felt absolutely comfortable and relaxed, enjoying the atmosphere and Javi's presence next to him.

"So, would you mind telling us how you met, exactly? Javi mentioned something about a coffee shop?"

It was an innocent question, something Yuzuru was prepared for, but it didn't stop his mind from racing towards that call, Javi's initial shyness and then building confidence, so hot and attractive.

He shook his head slightly, trying to collect himself and bringing his best smile.

"Yeah, it was in the coffee shop I'm working in. I just thought he-" he glanced at Javi, who was smiling warmly at him "- I just thought he looked nice, and he had the kindest smile. I thought it was worth a try, so I gave him my number."

"This is adorable." Laura cooed "I can't blame you; he's been stealing hearts with that smile since he was like, eleven."

"Thanks for the review, Laura." Javi chuckled and she grinned widely.

"I only speak the truth!"

The rest of the dinner went smoothly, with a lot of laughter and good food, and Yuzuru had that strange feeling again, as if they knew each other for much longer than they really had.

"Okay, I can see you're in the heart eyes phase, but let me tell you, he gets more annoying with time." Laura announced and their dad laughed loudly.

"Laura, you can't say things like that." he said, shaking his head in amusement "But it's a fact that he sleeps too long and pretends that he doesn't know how to iron clothes."

"Hey!" Javi exclaimed loudly, pretending to be offended "How dare you!"

"Well it's the truth, sweetheart." his mom chuckled before standing up and starting to collect the plates.

"I'll help." Yuzuru offered, joining her.

"Thank you so much, you're so sweet." she said five minutes later when they were alone in the kitchen, putting the dishes into the sink.

"I just wanted to thank you for the meal. It was lovely." he said, and she smiled sweetly at him, and Yuzuru noticed that her eyes were exactly the same as Javi's.

"You're such a nice boy, Yuzuru." she said "I'm so glad you and Javi are dating. You seem like I can trust you with him." she added with a smile and Yuzuru's heart clenched.

"I would never hurt him." he said quietly and her smiled turned even softer. She reached out to touch his cheek and Yuzuru felt like something settled deep in his chest, a feeling of responsibility, like he was making an important promise, to her, to Javi, and to himself.

"Alright." she smiled "Will you help me get the dessert?"

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru sniffled loudly, grabbing one of already used tissues and wiping his nose. He was feeling so bad he could barely focus on the screen in front of him, trying to type in some coherent sentences to finish that stupid paper. After a few minutes he gave up, closing his laptop and pushing it away, flopping back onto the mattress and closing his eyes. He had no idea what it was that he had caught or when, but he suspected it was all Nam's fault, him and his suspicious coughing. Now Yuzuru was feeling like shit, his nose stuffy and throat sore, and his head hurt like hell. That was enough to put him in bad mood, but despite his sickness he was also buried up to the head with schoolwork, and he had just cancelled his date with Javi, because there was no way they could enjoy an evening together when Yuzuru was in that condition.

He must have fallen asleep, because suddenly there was loud ringing in his ears and he sat up rapidly, feeling a bit dizzy. As he walked towards the door he wondered if he had ordered something he forgot about, but was utterly surprised to see Javi at his doorstep, a bag of groceries in his hands.

"Well you should be wearing more clothes than that." he said, leaning to brush his lips against Yuzuru's hot forehead "And where are your socks, this is so not helping your case." he scolded him gently, moving next to him to go to the kitchen, and Yuzuru cleared his throat, confused.

"What are you doing here?" he squeaked, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs and watching Javi unpack the bag.

"You said you were feeling off, right?" Javi said, smiling as he looked at Yuzuru over his shoulder "I thought I'd stop by and make use of my cooking skills to prepare you something healing. But after that I can totally leave if you want to sweat alone in your bed. I get it." he said kindly and Yuzuru felt a lump forming in his throat, because who the hell was this man, he was just impossible.

He wanted to scream his heart out, in that moment, but instead he just swallowed hard and smiled back.

"What are you cooking?" he asked instead "Chicken?" he guessed, looking at the ingredients spread in front of Javi.

"Chicken soup. Very secret recipe."

Yuzuru watched Javi preparing everything with quick, practiced moves, and he felt his heart stutter a little. Somehow it felt like they knew each other for much longer than just those few short months, because now Yuzuru knew so many little things about Javi, the way his expression always turned focused when he was cutting something or how he sometimes started humming, quietly and absently, as if forgetting about the word.

"Okay, now it has to boil for some time." he said, putting the lid on and smiling brightly at Yuzuru "Come on, let's get you to the bedroom so I can wrap you up in a blanket."

"You're so sweet." Yuzuru muttered, his throat tight, and he let Javi take him to the bedroom and cover him with so many layers of blankets he thought he was going to boil.

"What did you catch, huh?" Javi asked gently, settling on the bed next to Yuzuru, touching his forehead and brushing his damp hair away "I guess it's the flu?"

"One of my colleagues was coughing at me the whole yesterday." Yuzuru admitted grumpily "So I fully blame him." he looked up at Javi, biting his lip "You didn't have to come, you know?"

"Of course, I had to." Javi chuckled, as if Yuzuru was acting silly "I have to take care of you." he leaned to kiss Yuzuru's cheek.

Yuzuru sniffled at that, feeling very unattractive and kind of undeserving, but he didn't voice any of that. Instead, he just stuck his hand out from between the blankets and caught Javi's hand with his, lacing their fingers together.

"You're the best thing." he said quietly and Javi's expression melted into a fond smile.

"Maybe try to nap a little." he said softly and Yuzuru pouted.

"But what about the healing soup?"

"It will take some time to cook, and you can eat it anytime when you wake up. Sleep is the best medicine." Javi announced, kissing him again, and Yuzuru exhaled deeply, closing his eyes. A little nap wouldn't hurt anyone.

 

When he woke up, he was a bit surprised to see that the room was so much darker than before, the only light coming from his nightlamp and Javi's phone.

"Oh, hello." Javi smiled broadly, immediately noticing that he was awake "How are you feeling?"

"Not too good." Yuzuru muttered, sitting up slowly and wincing a little "My head feels like cotton."

"Okay, wait a second." Javi said, jumping out of the bed and then fumbling in the kitchen rather loudly. He was back before Yuzuru could fully come back to himself, carrying a bowl and a box of medicine "Here you go." he said, and Yuzuru smile at him gratefully.

"It's so good." he said, tasting the soup "I didn't know I was so hungry."

"Well it's pretty late." Javi chuckled; Yuzuru froze with a sudden thought, and Javi added "By the way, your phone was ringing like mad, so after the tenth call I answered." Javi said and Yuzuru felt like he was going to scream "It was your friend Alex, he said that you were supposed to work tonight?"

Yuzuru swallowed hard, trying to stop himself from screeching loudly, his mind racing, adrenaline making him feel a little bit less sick.

"I'm doing this thing for him, like, uh, remote work?" he babbled and Javi smiled with understanding.

"Yeah, he said something like that. But I told him you were feeling poorly, he wished you all the best." Javi smiled brightly "He sounds nice, maybe we could meet up sometime?"

"Why not." Yuzuru mumbled, deciding to stuff his mouth with soup again, so he didn't have to answer again. He had totally forgotten that he was supposed to work, but he had to remember to call Alex as soon as possible and thank him for not spilling anything to Javi. Alex didn't exactly know the details of the situation, just that Yuzuru was dating someone, so there was always some danger.

Yuzuru had to calm down. Javi knew nothing, and it was going to stay that way.

"Thank you." he said, smiling when he finished eating "I can feel it's already working."

"Told you so!" Javi smiled happily, touching his cheek and then forehead "You might still have a fever, though, you should go back to sleep."

"That's what I'm planning to do." Yuzuru sighed, laying back down once more. Now, when the adrenaline dropped, he was feeling as exhausted as before "Will you stay with me?" he mumbled and Javi's smile softened.

"Of course." he said "But I need to get up early, I don't want to wake you up."

"It's okay." Yuzuru muttered contentedly, feeling Javi’s hand caressing his cheek "I want you for however long you let me have you." he added faintly, without even thinking, his eyes closing.

"Well that might be a long time." Javi whispered against his skin, lips brushing Yuzuru's ear "Maybe forever."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praise my wife, who saves this fic from turning into a total mess, Ily <3

Alex glanced above Yuzuru's shoulder, shaking his head a little before looking at Yuzuru again, his expression flat and unreadable.

“Dude.” he said slowly “Is this a joke?”

“No.” Yuzuru said, flinching a little; he turned around to look at Javi, who was third in the line to the counter; he noticed Yuzuru watching him and waved, smiling brightly. Yuzuru waved back, sending him a smile and then turning to Alex again.

“Well in that case-” Alex leaned forward a bit, making sure there was no way someone could overhear them “- what the fuck are you doing, Yuzu? He's- I-” he made and exasperated hand gesture “He's like a Bambi deer and you're- you're a Shelob!”

“What is this even supposed to mean?”

“What I mean is that this is not cool, Yuzu.” Alex hissed “Very not cool.” he shook his head, his expression softening a little “Look, I know that it must be hard, but you can't hide it from him, especially if you think about him seriously.”

“I'm very serious about him.” Yuzuru admitted “But how can I tell him? He would dump me on the spot.”

“Oh, come on.” Alex scoffed “I met him ten minutes ago and I can tell that he's head over heels for you. This guy will forgive you anything, if you just say that you're sorry and cry a bit, and then you would probably have some hot make up sex-”

“Alex, for fuck's sake.” Yuzuru whined, hiding his face in his hands for a moment “Just- just don't tell him anything, okay? If he asks about the job, just-”

“Just lie to him, right?” Alex asked flatly, letting out a deep sigh “Dude, I love you, but it's so going to backfire- hey, you need help with that?” he exclaimed suddenly, his smile lightning up with a smile, and Yuzuru heard Javi's laughter just next to him.

“No, thanks, I've got this.” he said, putting three coffee cups on the table and then sitting next to Yuzuru “So, were you gossiping about me?”

“Oh totally, Yuzu was just telling me how you guys met.” Alex said easily, not paying attention to Yuzuru's death glare “I'm so proud of him, his usually not so, you know, forward with strangers. You really made an impression on him.”

“Well thanks!” Javi chuckled “To be honest, I had a pretty shitty day, but... he made it all better.” he said, taking Yuzuru's hand and squeezing his fingers gently “And now we're here!”

“This is lovely.” Alex smiled, wide and honest “And so cool. You guys make me miss relationships.” he laughed and Javi raised his eyebrows, curious, and Yuzuru felt like he should say something too, maybe to spite Alex a bit.

“Yeah, Alex can't keep a girl around for longer than two months.” he said, and Alex gasped, pretending to be offended.

“Excuse me, I don't have time for girls, I'm a serious businessman!”

“Oh, about that!” Javi smiled and Yuzuru felt a sting of anxiety “Could you tell me more about that thing you're doing with Yuzu? He hasn't told me too much yet, but it's kinda interesting to me, people opening their own business."

Yuzuru felt like he was going to faint from nerves, but Alex was quick to react, his bright smile unchanged.

"It's a market survey kind of thing." he said easily "International, that's why Yuzu works weird hours sometimes, calling Japan and stuff."

"Oh, that's cool!" Javi exclaimed, and Yuzuru had to try his best not to wince, because if Javi only knew-

"It's a good job, and I think Yuzu enjoys it too." Alex said with a grin and Yuzuru thought about murdering him, but he knew it was kinda fair. Luckily Alex decided to take mercy on him, changing the topic and asking Javi about what he thought about what happened in the last round of MLS.

Yuzuru was still feeling a little bit uneasy, a bit stressed, but he still was feeling happy about how well Javi and Alex were getting along. They both had similar personalities and topics they were interested in, and it was clear that Javi's charming way of being was gaining him Alex's sympathy.

Yuzuru couldn't help but wonder what it would be like, Javi meeting his family. Yuzuru's parents lived in their hometown, seven hours away by car, and his sister Saya had moved to Vancouver after getting married. Yuzuru didn't see them too often since he had moved to Toronto, but he tried to visit every three, four months. He was actually planning a trip next month and was carefully considering inviting Javi. His parents were eager to meet him, and Yuzuru thought that maybe they were ready to take that step. Him and Javi had been dating for long enough, and they both knew and felt that it was serious, that thing between them, the feeling that was only getting deeper and stronger with every day they were spending together.

There were some things that still weren't perfect, like Yuzuru's secret and inability to let it go, but beside that, things were good, so incredibly good he couldn't quite believe it was really his life.

"Okay, lovebirds, I need to run." Alex said, checking his phone and standing up "Yuzu, we stay in touch. And it was great to meet you, man." he added, shaking Javi's hand "You have fun and remember, sex in a public place is an offence!"

"Oh my god." Yuzuru groaned, hiding his face against Javi's shoulder, hearing his laughter "Why is he so embarrassing?"

"He's cool." Javi chuckled, rubbing Yuzuru's shoulder "I'm happy I'm meeting your friends."

"They're cooler than your friends." Yuzuru teased and Javi gasped.

"Excuse me, what do you have against Patrick?"

"Nothing, he just hates me-"

"He doesn't, he just... has a very specific personality."

"Yeah, he's charming." Yuzuru snorted and Javi pouted.

"You're mean." he announced before leaning in to brush his lips against Yuzuru's in a chaste, short kiss that still somehow managed to ignite a little spark in Yuzuru's chest.

"You know what would be really not mean of me?" he whispered into Javi's ear "If I took you to the bathroom and give you-"

"Oh my god." Javi screeched quietly, covering his mouth, but his eyes crinkled in a smile "Am I just learning about some kinks of yours?"

"I don't have kinks." Yuzuru said quickly and Javi made a face at him.

"Are you sure? Because you know I'm always open to talk-"

"I know, I know." Yuzuru said, silencing him with another quick kiss, feeling a little bit guilty again. Javi had been trying to bring up the topic a few times, and once Yuzuru caught him reading some interesting articles online- but the real talk never happened, Yuzuru always brushing the topic away and insisting that everything was fine. And it was fine, because Javi was great, and the only problem was Yuzuru's insecurity.

But that was only one part of their life. The rest was pretty damn amazing and there was no point in letting it affect their relationship. It was good. They would be okay.

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru sighed contentedly, turning his face to the sun; it was shining so bright he could see the light even with his eyelids closed, and it was caressing his skin with warm, pleasant rays. He could hear other people nearby, talking and laughing, and children screaming while chasing a ball. It was a nice day, a very hot one, so it felt like half of the city decided to go out and sit in parks.

Yuzuru was supposed to be studying, but it was so nice, to lie down on the blanket and listening to Javi clicking something on the keyboard of his laptop. He didn't pay attention when the clicking stopped, though, but then he felt something cold and slimy touching his face, and he yelped.

“Hey!” he exclaimed loudly, opening his eyes only to close them immediately, blinded “What are you doing?” he complained and Javi laughed, applying more gross substance to his face.

“You need your sunscreen; you're already turning a little bit pink.” Javi said fondly, spreading the cream and then patting Yuzuru's cheek lightly “Here you go!”

“Well thank you.” Yuzuru chuckled, sitting up and risking opening his eyes again, now more careful than before “You're such a good nanny.”

“You're welcome.” Javi grinned and then turned back to his laptop, and Yuzuru used that opportunity to stare at him for a moment, not ashamed at all. Javi looked exceptionally good that day, with his sunglasses and t-shirt showing off his nice arms, and Yuzuru was suddenly aware that he wasn't looking half as good himself, already sweaty and with a mess on his head. Javi didn't seem to mind, though, because when he glanced at Yuzuru again, his smile was wide and brighter than the sun itself.

“You know I love when you're looking at me like that, but you have some things to learn.” he said teasingly and Yuzuru scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“It's so boring!” he exclaimed dramatically, moving closer so he could rest his chin on Javi's shoulder and look at the screen of his laptop “What are you writing?”

“So, there's this competition for a column in one magazine, and I thought I could try to write something? Just to challenge myself.”

“That's nice.” Yuzuru smiled, dropping a kiss to Javi's shoulder; he knew that Javi enjoyed writing, so he was happy that he was taking opportunities “What are you writing about?”

“Relationships, I think? I'm still not fully convinced.” Javi chuckled “But hey, relationships in the big city, always a hot topic.”

“That's true.” Yuzuru nodded, wrapping one hand around Javi's chest and plastering himself against his back “You're planning to add some personal experience?”

“Oh, the epic story how I discovered I wasn't straight?” Javi laughed, typing a few words “It's pretty boring, to be honest.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I had an epiphany in a locker room in high school after training.”

“Ah, a classic.” Yuzuru chuckled, nuzzling against Javi's neck.

“Yup. But before you I didn't really wanted to date any guy. It was more like, _yeah, maybe I could sleep with him, but dating? Nah._ And in the end, I didn't even sleep with any guy for years. Until you came around.”

Yuzuru couldn't see his face, but he knew that Javi was smiling, and his chest felt like filled with a million of butterflies.

“What about you?” Javi asked and Yuzuru sighed dramatically against his skin.

“Are you going to write about me too?”

“Yes, the only reason I'm dating you is because I secretly want to describe your life in a book and earn millions.”

“I'm flattered.” Yuzuru chuckled, absently following the words Javi was typing “Well, I kind of always knew I'm into both, but more into guys. Definitely. I dated a girl only once and it didn't end up great.”

“Aww, you poor thing.” Javi cooed, turning his head a little so Yuzuru could lean forward and kiss him briefly.

“That's fine. I've got you now.” Yuzuru said and Javi smiled at him widely, putting the laptop away and shifting so now they were facing each other.

“Speaking of-” he started slowly, taking one of Yuzuru's hands and playing with his fingers “- I was thinking about something.”

“Yes?”

“You know, I was just wondering, if maybe we could try... something new?”

“Something new.” Yuzuru hummed, taking Javi's glasses away and meeting his eyes, warm and cheerful, and just a little bit shy “Meaning?”

“Meaning that maybe we could think about... switching? If you're okay with that? I mean, I'd like to try-” he stammered, his cheeks turning pink, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered.

“Really?” he asked and Javi shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

“Yeah. I kinda, uh, want to know how it feels like.” he said, looking a bit embarrassed, and the only thing Yuzuru could do was to kiss him, fast and not too passionate, because he didn't trust his self- control.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he muttered and Javi laughed breathlessly.

“I need to work on Saturday, but the next one is free-”

“Great.” Yuzuru said, kissing his cheek “Then I'm giving you heads up, you're going to spend it whole in my bed.”

“Oh my god, you can't tell me such things in public.” Javi whined and Yuzuru grinned.

“You're the one who started.”

“Okay, guilty.” Javi giggled before shaking his head and sighing “And okay, it's time to get back to work.” he said, grabbing his laptop “And you open that book, finally.”

“You're no fun.” Yuzuru pouted but took the book out of his bag and even opened it on the right page. He couldn't focus, though, his eyes darting to Javi's back, his shoulders, and he felt his chest growing tighter and warmer with a feeling he didn't dare to name but understood so well.

“I can feel you staring.” Javi said without looking away from the screen “By the way, do you remember that we're meeting Matteo on Thursday?”

“Your wine friend?”

“My wine friend.” Javi chuckled “More like a little brother I never had. You're going to love him.” he added absently and Yuzuru had to bite his tongue not to say anything, the words tingling on his lips. But he only shook his head a little and finally started reading, trying to ignore the temptation to look at Javi again and control the warm, happy laughter that threatened to bubble to the surface and make everything so obvious.

There was still time. All the time they needed.

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru let out a quiet squeak as he landed on his back, but the sound was muffled by Javi's lips on his, hot and urgent.

“Fuck.” Javi panted into his mouth, one hand sneaking under Yuzuru's shirt and pressing against his skin “Do you want me to stop-”

“Don't you dare.” Yuzuru breathed out, tugging the hem of Javi's shirt “Take it off.”

Yuzuru's blood was buzzing, and his head was spinning with both arousal and alcohol. They had spent a nice evening with Matteo, who was a big fan of homemade wine and made them taste basically every bottle he had, and Yuzuru couldn't remember the last time he had drunk so much. He wasn't smashed, but he for sure was very tipsy, his head spinning and skin tingling. He could tell that Javi wasn't as affected at him, but his breathing was erratic and his eyes were a bit blurry with wine and lust, and Yuzuru had never wanted him more.

“Come here.” he mumbled, opening his arms and Javi dived right back in, kissing him on the lips before moving down his neck and chest, and Yuzuru's brain turned off. Everything was fuzzy and blurred, and warm, Javi's lips on his stomach, hands ghosting over the skin right above the waistband of his pants.

“Is it okay?” he whispered against Yuzuru's hip; his voice filled with some strained urgency “Can I-”

“Don't ask me again.” Yuzuru whispered hoarsely and he heard how Javi inhaled deeply before yanking down Yuzuru's pants and underwear; the world stopped existing, and all Yuzuru knew was Javi's lips kissing his things and his long, slick fingers opening him up, careful but with a clear need, and Yuzuru couldn't think, only able to open his mouth and try to breathe.

“That's good.” he mumbled shakily, his fingers tugging Javi's hair “That- oh!” he cried out quietly when he felt Javi's lips grazing his cock.

“Next time.” Javi whispered, kissing the tip before withdrawing and gently flipping Yuzuru over and putting him on his stomach, and then crawling up his body, his hot breath tickling Yuzuru's nape “Because now I'm going to fuck you.”

Yuzuru's body tensed up at that and he buried his face in the pillow, silencing his own moan. He felt Javi sitting back across his thigh, faintly heard him opening the lube and ripping open the condom, and Yuzuru felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, he was so wound up already, craving the connection. But then Javi grabbed his ass and pushed inside in one smooth, strong move, and Yuzuru whined loudly, biting at the pillow in a weak attempt to muffle himself.

“Oh fuck.” Javi moaned, hands squeezing Yuzuru's ass with a tight grip “Fucking hell.”

He set a quick, hard pace, his cock making its way into Yuzuru's body in harsh snaps, and Yuzuru loved every moment, every move setting his body on fire. It was electrifying, the way Javi held him down, not really allowing him to move but filling him perfectly with every thrust.

Yuzuru felt drunk, with alcohol, with pleasure coiling in his stomach, and he couldn't stop himself from moaning into the pillow, and he didn't even remember why he was trying to stay quiet, when it felt so good, when Javi was fucking him so hard and good, and when he was getting so close-

Javi pulled his hips harshly, forcing Yuzuru to brace on his elbows, and the new angle made Yuzuru squirm and whine, and lose his mind.

“Javi.” he choked out, so close it hurt; he wanted to reach to his own cock, stroke it and bring himself to his relief, but his hands stayed pressed flat to the bed, and his dizzy mind knew he would fall if he tried, the strength of Javi's thrusts and alcohol coursing through his veins making him unsteady and weak "Javi-!"

"That's good." Javi panted, snapping his hips in deep, rough pace, and he was hitting all the right spots, but it was still not enough, and Yuzuru felt a few tears running down his face, hot and desperate, and he let out a choked out moan that made Javi groan loudly.

"Come on, baby, let me hear you." he said hoarsely, leaning forward and plastering himself to Yuzuru's back, his palms pressed next to Yuzuru's "Come on, let go." he whispered, his teeth grazing the side of Yuzuru's neck "I need to hear you if you want to come."

Yuzuru couldn't stop a loud, high moan from escaping his lips, his head swimming, his body burning, not a single thought in his brain, only pure, deep need.

"Please." he basically sobbed "Javi, please, make me come, fuck me, please-"

"That's better." Javi murmured, reaching around Yuzuru to grab his cock and stroke him with fast, tight moves matching the rhythm of his thrusts, and Yuzuru screamed as his body tensed up and his orgasm hit him, blinding and so strong he fell on his front, boneless and not able to move. Javi was still fucking him, though, holding his with an iron tight grip and letting out quiet, ecstatic noises, and when he came Yuzuru couldn't help but cry out helplessly, feeling Javi's cock twitching inside him, sending sparks of both pleasure and just a bit of pain.

He whimpered quietly when Javi pulled back, and he instantly felt himself drifting away, not able to move, sounds turning muffled, his eyes closed. His head was spinning as he felt Javi turning him around gently and then cleaning him up with careful hands. Yuzuru's dizzy mind realized that Javi's hands were trembling for some reason, but there was not enough air in his lungs to ask, and before he could even try to think about it, everything faded into darkness as he fell asleep.

 

The first thing Yuzuru noticed when he woke up was that his body was a little sore, his tongue was dry, and his temples were pulsing with pain. He had a very clear memory of a very fun evening with wine and then a bit blurrier memory of some pretty great sex, and he lazily hoped that he would be able to recall all the details soon. But judging by the pleasant aching of his muscles, Javi had taken good care of him. He reached out blindly, hoping to feel Javi's body close, but his hand found only rumpled blankets. At that Yuzuru opened his eyes and realized that it was still dark, and then he noticed Javi sitting on the edge of the bed, close to Yuzuru's feet, looking outside the window, the sky barely turning the light shade of grey.

"Hey." Yuzuru yawned, raising on his elbow and rubbing his eyes "Why are you awake so early? Is everything okay?"

Javi didn't answer, but Yuzuru heard him taking a deep breath, and that made Yuzuru feel alarmed. He sat up properly and reached for the nightlamp, turning it on and blinking rapidly, his eyes needing a moment to get used to the light.

But then he realized that Javi was fully clothed and still not looking at him, and he felt something cold forming in his chest, like a small piece of ice got trapped in between his ribs.

"Javi?" he asked, his voice quiet and raw, and everything inside him was itching to reach out and touch him, but for some reason he couldn't move.

"I thought you sounded a bit familiar, when I met you." Javi said finally, glancing at him and then turning away before Yuzuru could get a good look at his face "I couldn't place it, though, and I thought I was-" he inhaled sharply, his voice faltering, and Yuzuru couldn't breathe, his insides twisting.

"Javi, I can-"

"I didn't really figure that out until tonight." Javi cut him off, his voice tight "I thought I was just not good enough, but you- you were just trying to hide from me, weren't you?" he almost chuckled, the sound bitter and choked out. Then he took a few deep breaths before finally looking Yuzuru in the eyes, and his expression was tired and betrayed "A few months ago I called some number. And tonight I called it again, and the guy who answered sounded a little bit like Alex, when I think about it." he chuckled again and Yuzuru felt like he was going to suffocate.

"I asked him to connect me with the same person I had talked to, to check my number. It wasn't a problem, apparently you guys get your regular-" Javi stopped talking for a moment, closing his eyes, as if he couldn't look at Yuzuru for too long "- he told me I had to call tomorrow, after 11pm. Just how you told me you're working tomorrow." he shook his head, and it seemed that it was physically hard for him, to speak, and Yuzuru could relate, because he couldn't talk either, and he couldn't feel anything but a barbed wire squeezing his heart and lungs.

"I checked your phone." Javi added, wincing "I'm sorry for that, I just had to- I had to be sure. And now I am."

The silence was deafening and charged, and Yuzuru couldn't really believe that it was happening, and he was half expecting to wake up, that it was only some fucked up dream; but it was real, his biggest nightmare coming to life, and he didn't know what to do, how to act, how to wipe that pained expression from Javi's face and make it all right.

But he knew he had to, he had to try, to fight, because if he would let Javi walk away like that, he would never get him back.

"I can explain." he said, moving a bit closer, and Javi's face crumpled.

"What's there to explain, Yuzu?" he asked, his voice catching in his throat "You lied to me. You were lying to me, since the beginning, and I-" he shook his head and stood up "I need to go." he said, barely looking at Yuzuru "I-"

"Javi, wait." Yuzuru jumped out of the bed, frantic "Please, wait-" he tried to grab Javi's hand, but he jerked away as if he couldn't stand his touch, and Yuzuru felt like someone punched him.

"Don't." he said, and the tone of his voice made Yuzuru freeze "Don't. I will-" his voice cracked at the end and Yuzuru thought that he saw tears gathering in the corners of his eyes "I need to go." he repeated weakly and walked away, quickly, as if he was running away, and it felt surreal, still, and Yuzuru only woke up when he heard the front door slamming.

It hit him at once, the realization, the hurt. The loss. He felt as if something collapsed inside of him, not letting him breathe and sending waves of pain through his entire body.

He was painfully aware of everything, of the surprisingly chilly air against his naked skin, of the faint scent of sex dancing in his nose. Of silent, terrible loneliness and knowledge that he had done something utterly terrible.

He didn't even try to stop the tears when they came. He fell on the bed, crying into the pillow that still smelled like Javi, and every cell of his body was pulsing with physical pain that shouldn't be there, because broken heart shouldn't feel like that, shouldn't feel so real.

But it felt real, because it was real, and Yuzuru had no idea if he would ever be able to fix it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that happened *runs away*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the biggest thanks to my beautiful wife ❤️❤️❤️  
> Also, I decided to unlock this (at least for now), because I'm kinda in a summer mood already and thought that maybe some folks without an account would like to read it too haha

Yuzuru couldn't move.

His head was still hurting a little, and he really needed to drink something, but he stayed where he was, curled in a bed under a blanket that felt rough and unpleasant on his skin.

The world was filled with sunlight now, and Yuzuru suspected it was close to noon. He didn't care. He didn't reach for his phone. He didn't close his eyes, he didn't try to fall back asleep, rest a little. He was exhausted, dehydrated, and still a little bit sore, and his heart was pounding rapidly for long hours now.

He couldn't really believe it had happened, but his empty, cold bed was enough of a proof that it wasn't just some twisted, cruel dream.

He couldn't wipe the memory of hurt on Javi's face from his brain.

Yuzuru didn't know how much time had passed but he forced his body to move, finally sitting up slowly.

Everything was muffled and everything hurt. Hesitantly, he reached for his phone, ridiculously hoping that maybe there would be some message, he would take anything, angry remarks or demands for explanation.

There was nothing.

Yuzuru swallowed over his painfully dry throat, his fingers stiff as he started typing.

_Please, let me explain everything. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you everything, please, let me fix it._

It was pathetic and Yuzuru knew it, but he still pressed send. He looked at the text, lump in his throat growing bigger and bigger as he wrote something more.

_Let me know if you got home safely._

He made his way to the bathroom, feeling numb, and he only woke up from his daze when cold water hit his back, running down his body in icy streams.

Just a few hours he had been all warm and safe, wrapped in Javi's arms. Now, Yuzuru didn't even know if he would ever see him again.

A loud, high- pitched sob escaped his lips suddenly, like a cry of a wounded animal, and Yuzuru didn't even care about muffling it, no one would hear him anyway. He leaned against the shower wall heavily, sliding down until he was sitting; he was shaking, because both cold water and sobs tearing him from inside.

It was his fault, of course it was, and he could imagine what Javi was thinking right now. Yuzuru knew how it looked like, and he understood why Javi was feeling... betrayed. Used, even, and that knowledge was breaking Yuzuru's heart into pieces, over and over again.

He lost the sense of time yet again, sitting like that until his skin felt so cold it hurt, and he tried not to cling to the hope that maybe Javi messaged him back. But when he took his phone with his trembling fingers, its screen was dark and blank. Yuzuru bit his lower lip, trying to stop himself from screaming out loud.

He could fix it. He just had to see Javi, his kind, gentle Javi, and explain everything to him. Ask for forgiveness and hope that Javi's heart was big enough to grant it to him.

Yuzuru fell on the bed again, hiding his face in the pillow, everything inside him trembling. He didn't think he would be able to fall asleep, not with his mind screaming so loudly, but then he did, drifting away to the world where reality was a little bit happier.

 

Something was ringing, sharp and nagging, and Yuzuru raised his head heavily, blinking rapidly as he tried to understand what was happening. It was dark again, and it took him one hazy second to remember what had happened before, and he tasted something metallic in his mouth.

The source of the awful sound was his phone, and for a heartbeat Yuzuru was hoping that maybe it was Javi, but one look at caller's ID made his stomach clench.

"I can't do it today, Alex." he said weakly into to phone, propping himself against the headboard "I can't."

"Man, what's going on? You sound terrible." Alex said with worry and Yuzuru closed his eyes, his chest burning.

"Javi knows."

It hurt, saying it out loud, because the words were making it so much more real, so unbearable.

"Oh shit-"

"Yeah, so I can't really pretend right now that I'm enjoying when those fuckers tell me what they want to do-" Yuzuru stammered, choking on his own words, feeling acid raising in his throat, everything coming to him in waves, pain and fear that it was over, it was over.

"Yuzu, it's okay, I-"

Yuzuru didn't listen. He ended the call and threw the phone aside, burying his face in a pillow and not trying to stop his tears anymore.

 

* * *

 

The little bell hanging above the bookstore's door rang sharply when he entered, and he remembered when he had been there last time two weeks earlier, when he came to pick Javi up before going to dinner.

Yuzuru knew he should probably wait longer than two days, but he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the silence, couldn't bear the fact that Javi hadn't even messaged him, and that all calls Yuzuru was trying to make were going straight to the voicemail. And Yuzuru's skin was crawling, and he was biting his nails, and he couldn't just sit and do nothing.

"I'm sorry, we're closed-" he heard Javi's voice from behind one of the bookshelves, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered painfully. And then Javi appeared in his eyesight and he froze, staring at Yuzuru with wide eyes.

They had seen each other less than forty-eight hours before, in the darkness of Yuzuru's room, but it felt like ages, and Yuzuru couldn't tear his gaze away. Javi looked paler than usual, and his eyes seemed tired and a little bit red, and Yuzuru hated himself, because he knew he was the reason.

"What are you doing here?" Javi asked quietly, folding his arms on his chest "Why did you come?"

"I need to talk to you. I need to explain-"

"I don't want to hear it." Javi said, swallowing visibly "I don't-" he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply "I need you to go."

"Javi, please." Yuzuru pleaded, taking a step forward but stopping when he saw Javi taking a step back "Javi-"

"I bet it was fun, huh?" Javi asked suddenly, his voice trembling "Playing with me like that?"

It hurt, more than anything, to see pain in Javi's eyes, to hear it in his voice. He looked betrayed and lost, and all Yuzuru wanted to do was to hug him, but he didn't dare to move, trying to find proper words to explain and maybe justify all that mess he had made.

"Javi, you know-" he basically choked out, his throat so tight it hurt "Javi, you know me, I would never-"

"Do I? Know you?" Javi asked, his voice breaking "You were lying to me, since the beginning, and I can't-" he shook his head, his eyes glistening "Just go, please, I have work to do in here."

"Javi-"

"Dude." Yuzuru heard a familiar voice and saw Patrick raising from behind a pile of boxes filled with books "He told you to leave."

Yuzuru opened his mouth to oppose, but Patrick's eyes were hard and Javi used that moment to turn around, and it physically hurt, to see him like that, the tense line of his shoulders, to acknowledge the fact that he didn't want to even look at Yuzuru.

He wanted to cry, and to scream, even beg, but in the end, he knew there was nothing he could do. So, he looked at Javi once more before taking a deep breath that burned his squeezed lungs, and he left, the doorbell ringing cheerfully.

It was as if all adrenaline left his body the moment he stepped outside, and after taking a few steps he had to stop and lean against the nearest wall. His chest hurt, and so did his throat and head, everything, and he was barely aware of someone saying his name right next to him.

"Hey, Yuzuru? You okay, dude?"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuzuru asked, wheezing, and Patrick sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes.

"Do you want to sit down?" he asked and Yuzuru only glared, suddenly feeling irrational anger towards that guy.

"I'm fine." he said through his gritted teeth, but Patrick shook his head, giving Yuzuru a crooked, a bit bitter smile.

"Look, Yuzuru, I'm not going to lie, that was some pretty asshole move." he said, with a directness Yuzuru had gotten used to during those few meetings before "But I don't believe you're the bad guy."

"Uhhh?" Yuzuru let out eloquently, surprised and tired, and Patrick sighed again.

"I'm not blind. You are too far gone for Javi to hurt him on purpose. And I don't judge the whole phone thing-" he chuckled suddenly "He was so... I don't know, but that call really made him feel better, you know? He was considering calling again but then... well, then he met you."

Patrick was smiling again, sympathetic and with less judgement Yuzuru had been expecting.

"Just... give him time." Patrick said quietly "Wait for him, let him reach out to you first. I know him for a long time and he's... he's forgiving. But... just give him time, Yuzuru. That's what he needs right now."

"But what if he won't talk to me? What if he decides he doesn't-" Yuzuru couldn't finish, too overwhelmed at the thought, and Patrick shrugged his shoulders, his smile small and full of compassion.

"Then let him go." Patrick said, giving him a nod before turning around and walked back into the store, leaving Yuzuru with one thought pulsing in his head.

Was it really possible that he would never see Javi again?

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru smiled weakly, handing a customer her order and pretending he didn't see interest in her eyes.

"Have a nice day." he said, trying to sound at least a little bit enthusiastic, and when he turned around to get milk, he saw Keiji staring at him with a shadow on concern in his eyes.

"Yuzu, you okay?" he asked slowly, tilting his head a little "You look pale, are you sick? I'm not a monster, you know, you just have to say-"

"I'm good." Yuzuru said, avoiding his eyes; Keiji knew him well, though, and he didn't buy it, and Yuzuru shifted uncomfortably under his searching gaze.

"Are you sure? You look-"

\- Yuzuru couldn't breathe, his chest turning so incredibly tight it hurt, and he could feel tears gathering in his eyes, and he opened his mouth, trying to inhale, but instead making awful, wheezing sounds.

Keiji's eyes widened, and then he cleared his throat, clapping a few times to gather everyone's attention.

"I'm so sorry everyone, but we need to close right now! Please, come back tomorrow, use the code 'emergency', you will her 25% discount! And please, can the last person turn the sign to 'closed'? Thank you!" he exclaimed before focusing on Yuzuru again, his eyes softening.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently "Or do you just want to go home?"

Yuzuru swallowed hard, still trying not to break down and cry right there in front of Keiji. He didn't want to talk about it, not really, but on the other hand, Keiji was his friend, and Yuzuru knew he wouldn't judge him. At least not too much.

"Javi broke up with me." he whispered and finally felt one tear running down his cheek, hot and burning his skin like acid.

"Oh." Keiji breathed out softly "Oh no. What happened?"

"I- I messed up. I lied to him, and I- I fucked up so bad, Keiji."

"I'm sure it can be fixed." Keiji said carefully "I mean, I saw him only a few times, but I think-"

"He won't forgive me, Keiji." Yuzuru said flatly, and he really believed in those words, even though it was killing him, trying to come to terms with that possibility.

But it had been over a week. Nine agonizing days and Yuzuru didn't have too much hope anymore.

"I'm scared to ask what happened." Keiji sighed "And you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, but I'm always here for you, you know that, right?"

"It wasn't our first meeting." Yuzuru blurted out, squeezing his eyes shut "Me and Javi's, here."

"Oh, I didn't know-"

"I have a second job. On sex hotline. Good money." Yuzuru said, suddenly feeling empty inside "Javi called a week before our first meeting."

"Oh shit." Keiji blurted out, his eyes going comically wide "And wait, he didn't recognize you?"

"Exactly." Yuzuru nodded, his throat clenching again, making it hard to speak "I- maybe it was because he didn't know my name while I knew his. Maybe his brain was refusing to connect all the dirty words with me, I mean-" Yuzuru shrugged, exhausted "I just- I'm sorry, Keiji, I'm going home, I can't-" he started, untying his work apron.

"Hey." Keiji touched his arm "If you need some more days off, just let me know."

"You are very understanding for someone who just confessed he was working on sex phone and also lied to his boyfriend about it." Yuzuru said bitterly and Keiji sighed.

"Look, this was... stupid. And wrong. But I know you, Yuzu, and you're not a bad guy. And I wish you all the luck with making it right." he smiled gently and Yuzuru shook his head, feeling like crying again.

"I don't think there's any way I can make it right." he said, his voice tight with tears.

"What about telling him how you feel?"

"I don't think it matters, how I feel."

"I think it does matter. It matters a lot." Keiji said quietly "I know that you're giving him space, but you need to let him know that you're going to fight for it. At least that's what I think."

"Really?" Yuzuru asked and Keiji smiled, broader than time.

"I don't believe in that if you love them let them go crap. Try to talk to him, then try again, and if he still tells you to fuck off, then I guess that would be it. But don't give up just yet. Make sure he knows the truth."

Yuzuru had spent the last few days on thinking about everything that had happened, recalling every detail of his last few meetings with Javi, the way he laughed, how he touched him, and how his eyes were filled with sadness and betrayal. He hadn't talked with anyone about it, except Alex, who sadly wasn't very helpful. Yuzuru could tell that his friend was feeling a bit guilty for not recognizing Javi during the last call, but Yuzuru couldn't bring himself to really talk to him about it. But talking with Keiji actually helped him to calm down a bit, catch a breath. Maybe even hope a little bit.

_He's forgiving_ Patrick had said about Javi, and that was what Yuzuru needed. Just a little bit of forgiveness.

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru entered the bookstore, trying to be as quiet as possible. Patrick was standing by the counter, just like he had told him, and he gave him a quick smile, nodding as Yuzuru passed him on his way to one of the bookshelves hidden deeper inside the store. He stopped in front on it, gaze searching, and he heard Patrick's voice calling Javi to change him behind the cashier desk.

Yuzuru swallowed hard, nervous.

Javi had been refusing to answer his calls and messages still, and after a few days Yuzuru gave up. Instead, he thought about what Patrick and Keiji were saying, and what he was feeling. He knew when he had gone wrong, he knew since the very beginning. He had chosen the wrong path, back then, something built on lies, something what never let him feel fully comfortable, even though Javi was simply great.

Yuzuru knew that they couldn't go back now, but he still needed Javi to know.

He found what he was looking for and took the book with his slightly shaking hand. He opened it and a random page and smiled to himself, seeing familiar words.

It was a good page.

He reached to his back pocket and took out a carefully folded piece of paper, gently putting it in between pages. And then he took a deep breath and forced his legs to move.

It hurt, physically, to see Javi after what felt like eternity, while it wasn't even three weeks. He was standing behind the desk, clicking something on the computer, eyes slightly narrowed behind his glasses. He looked good, and calm, as if nothing awful had happened to him recently, and Yuzuru's lips felt dry, because he knew so much better.

Javi heard his footsteps and looked up, a polite smile forming on his lips, but his expression fell when he saw Yuzuru. He opened his mouth, then closed them, pressing his lips in a tight line.

Yuzuru wanted to tell him so many things, but he only bit his lower lip and handed Javi the book.

It took Javi a moment to take it, careful not to touch Yuzuru's skin.

"We have discount for this one. 13$." he said, and Yuzuru's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice "What are you doing here?" he asked quietly as Yuzuru put his credit card to the terminal.

"Buying a gift." Yuzuru said, his voice catching in his throat despite his best efforts to stay calm. Javi swallowed visibly, avoiding Yuzuru's eyes and looking down.

"Do you want me to pack it?"

"No." Yuzuru said softly "It's for you."

With that, Javi finally looked up at him, surprised.

"What?"

"It's a gift, for you." Yuzuru said, taking a deep breath before he could lose the little bit of courage he had left "I know that you don't want to talk to me, and I understand, but Javi, I need you to know... I need you to know how sorry I am, for everything."

Javi was staring at him, his eyes dark and honest like usual, and Yuzuru smiled at him, weak and warm.

"Goodbye." he add quietly, and he forced his body to move, to leave, wondering once again if it was the last time.

 

 

_Javi,_

_I hope you won't throw this letter away without reading. I understand if you will, but I really hope you get to read this._

_I don't want to justify myself, because there's no way to. What I did to you was wrong, and I hope you believe when I say how much I regret not telling you the truth. I wanted to; I really did. But I didn't tell you, because you were wonderful, Javi, and I was too insecure and scared. I was terrified of losing you, and I really thought I could make it work._

_I need you to know one thing. It was never a game for me, what was between us. I gave you my number out of curiosity, to get to know you, but after our first meeting everything shifted, and I knew how special you were._

_I care about you more than I have courage to write, and I hope that you know it, somehow. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, and I hope you'll forgive me one day._

_I miss you so much, with every passing second, and I know I will miss you forever, and I will always regret what I have done._

_I understand if you don't want to see me ever again. I just hope you believe me, and I hope you're not hurting anymore._

_Take care of yourself, Javi._

_Love,_

_Yuzu._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are close and I'm stress- writing hah  
> As always, love to my wife for being the absolute best ❤️

Yuzuru swallowed nervously, looking around, but he still didn't see the person he was waiting for. He took a deep breath and looked at his hands, folded on his knees, and then at two go to cups next to him.

It was a hot day, the world drowning in sharp afternoon sun, and Yuzuru couldn't stop himself from thinking about a similar day, weeks before. They had been in the same park, close to the bench Yuzuru was now sitting on, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered painfully at the memory. It felt like a lifetime before.

The park was beautiful, people passing Yuzuru by, their laughter ringing in his ears. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, and he felt dust and faint scent of smoke, as if someone was having a bonfire nearby. It made him cough a few times and he winced, annoyed. It was the last thing he needed right now.

He was so grateful that Javi had reached out to him, asking him for a meeting. Yuzuru had given him the book two days earlier, and he started losing hope that Javi would contact him. But he had, and now Yuzuru was there, bathed in the warm sunlight, everything inside him trembling.

He would make it right, he would.

Feeling anxious, he reached for his phone; he wanted to check if he hadn't messed up place and time, but before he could open his message app, he heard close footsteps and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

"Hi." Javi said, his expression unreadable because of the sunglasses he was wearing.

"Hi." Yuzuru said, raspingly, and then cleared his throat "I bought you coffee." he said lamely, gesturing at the cups, and a corner of Javi's mouth twitched in a small smile.

"Thanks." he said, sitting next to Yuzuru, keeping a safe distance that made Yuzuru's fingers itch.

"This one." he said awkwardly, tapping one of the cups "Uh, ice cappuccino?"

"Sounds nice." Javi said, grabbing the cup and taking a sip "It's good, thank you."

Yuzuru shrugged awkwardly and for a moment they just sat like that, silent, looking at each other in silence, and Yuzuru wished he could see Javi's eyes.

"Thank you." Yuzuru said finally "For writing me. I'm really happy you wanted to meet."

For a moment Javi didn't do anything, and then he let out a quiet sigh, taking his glasses of and hooking them on the front of his shirt.

"I read your letter." he said and Yuzuru's heart almost jumped out of his chest.

"I figured." he said "I hoped you would. Do you want to-" he trailed off, not really sure what to say. It hurt, the way they were being now, awkward, slightly uncomfortable, when Yuzuru could still remember so vividly how it felt to be together, their bodies hot and moving together, how it was to be able to kiss Javi, make him laugh. Now there was a distance between them, not only physical, and Yuzuru hated it, he hated it with passion, but he wasn't sure if they could even go back to it again.

"I thought about it. A lot. What happened." Javi said, his small smile a bit strained "And I think that... I think that I should let you tell me everything you want to say, about-" his voice cracked a little and he had to clear his throat before continuing "- and I want to know too. Why-" he made a vague gesture with his hand and Yuzuru felt his mouth going dry.

He had been expecting that, when Javi wrote him. He knew that he had to tell Javi everything, and it could be his only chance to do that.

"So, should I-"

"Just tell me everything. Since the beginning." Javi said, and Yuzuru felt like he didn't deserve that gentle tone of his voice.

"Since the beginning. Okay." he chuckled nervously, dropping his gaze to his hands, fingers playing with the lid of his cup. "So I started working there... I think a year ago? I don't remember exactly. Alex figured that it was a good business idea and well... I needed money. And it's- it's not the worst job I could have." he said, cringing a little. He risked glancing at Javi, whose face was unreadable now, and he swallowed hard "Javi, I-"

"Why did you give me your number, Yuzu?" Javi asked quietly, and Yuzuru's insides twisted into a tight, painful knot.

"After that call-" he started, feeling anxious and unsure "I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were so... I didn't even have to pretend, with you." he confessed and something flickered in Javi's expression "I was hoping that you would call again, and then... then you came in, with Patrick, and I recognized you, and I just couldn't stop myself." he said "Javi, I didn't- I just wanted to get to know you, just that, I never wanted to-"

"I understand." Javi cut him off, his voice tight "And I... I believe you."

Yuzuru's chest was flooded with relief at those words, bright and overwhelming, and he had to breathe in deeply to try and calm his racing heartbeat.

"I really wanted to tell you, Javi." he said, his voice coming out a bit strangled "But then I realized that you were regretting that call and I thought- I thought you would get angry, and that you would hate me, and-"

"What? When did I-" Javi started, clearly confused, blinking rapidly "I never said-"

"You once told me you did something stupid after breaking up, and you pointed your phone. I got the clue." Yuzuru said, flinching, and Javi stared at him for a long moment before exhaling deeply, his shoulders dropping.

"A few weeks before calling you, I got drunk and left her a very sobby, very pathetic message." he said flatly "I- I was never ashamed of that call, with... you. Hell, I was thinking about calling again, but then I met you, and-" he stopped talking, his eyes wide and honest, and Yuzuru felt like he was about to cry. Javi's eyes were filled with sorrow now, and Yuzuru once again realized how terrible was that mistake he had made.

"I'm so sorry." he said with difficulty, his chest and throat burning "I wish I could take it all back. I really do. Javi-" he swallowed hard, looking Javi in the eyes "I never wanted to lie to you. It just... you became so important to me, in such a short time, and I was so scared of losing you." he chuckled breathlessly, humourlessly, just to ease the pressure cumulating in his chest "And I lost you anyway, in the end."

Javi's expression crumpled, and his eyes were sad and kind, and Yuzuru wanted to hug him, to cry, to kiss him and pretend that things could go back to what they had had before.

"I forgive you, Yuzu." Javi said, his voice quiet "But I can't... Yuzu, I don't think I can be with you. I-" he cut himself off, and Yuzuru's head started spinning "I believe you, I really do, when you say that you didn't want to hurt me, but I- I just don't know if I can trust you again. I'm so sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry." Yuzuru squeaked, noticing that his chest was growing tighter and tighter, and he felt his shirt clinging to his back, his throat suddenly filled with dust "Don't be sorry, it's okay." he wheezed, and he couldn't believe it was happening now, in the worst possible moment, after months of barely any symptoms-

"Yuzu?" Javi asked worryingly, moving a little bit closer "Hey, are you okay? Yuzu?"

Yuzuru's chest was burning, awful pressure squeezing his lungs and not letting him take a breath, and he wondered dizzily when the last time that he had had fucking asthma attack had been. It had been before Javi, months earlier, and Yuzuru almost forgot how terrible it felt, wheezing and fighting for air while every cell in his body screamed with pain.

His nose and throat were filled with dust, the scent of smoke making him feel even dizzier, and he pressed his palm to his chest, rubbing and trying to ease the pressure, the other hand battling with a zipper of his bag.

"Yuzu, what-" Javi asked, sounding panicked "What is going on? What do you need?"

He noticed Yuzuru's fight with his bag and reached for it opening it quickly and going through his stuff with frantic movements.

"Inh-" Yuzuru wheezed and there was a flash of understanding on Javi's face and a moment later he was handing Yuzuru the inhaler, his face tensed with worry.

"It's okay, you're okay." he muttered, rubbing Yuzuru's back, and after a moment Yuzuru was finally able to breathe normally, his fingers still tightly wrapped around the inhaler.

"Sorry." he said weakly, his breathing still short, and he saw how Javi shook his head.

"Come on, Yuzu-" he sighed "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You never told me you had asthma." Javi said, moving away a bit, his hand leaving Yuzuru's back.

"It hasn't had an attack in months." Yuzuru muttered, still feeling light- headed.

"It's pretty dusty today." Javi said; his voice sounded a bit odd, but Yuzuru was too tired to try and read into that. To be honest, he was exhausted; he just had got rejected and had to go through an unexpected asthma attack. He just wanted to go back home, crawl into bed and sleep until his heart would feel a little bit lighter.

"Can you walk?" Javi asked "I will take you home."

"You don't have to, it's only a few stops."

"Come on." Javi shook his head, looking almost sad "You almost collapsed in here, I thought-" he sighed "Let me take you home, okay?"

"Okay." Yuzuru agreed, standing up slowly, and he felt Javi's hand curling on his shoulder, strong and steady, and he felt just a tiny bit better. Breathing still hurt, though, and it was taking some effort to fill his lungs with air.

It was ridiculous, that it had to happen just now. It almost looked like a planned move, in some weird way, his body's pathetic attempt to keep Javi close. And it felt good, despite the pain and trouble breathing, to feel Javi's hand, now secure on the small of Yuzuru's back. They walked slowly, in silence, and Yuzuru could feel Javi's careful gaze on him from time to time, and his insides twisted every time.

"You really don't have to come with me." Yuzuru tried once again when they reached the bus stop, realizing that Javi's apartment was in entirely different direction than his "I'm okay."

"You almost collapsed out there, Yuzu." Javi said firmly, checking the timetable "I-" he pressed his lips in a tight line, turning to look at Yuzuru "You scared me."

"I'm okay." Yuzuru insisted, trying to muffle a cough wanting to escape his lips, and Javi shook his head, suddenly looking tired.

The bus came and Javi made sure to find a seat for Yuzuru, standing close to him and glancing down every few seconds, and Yuzuru's heart fluttered, making his bruised chest hurt even more. Because there was so much care in Javi's eyes, still, despite everything Yuzuru had done. But there was also a shadow of sadness, a flicker of distance, and Yuzuru couldn't blame him for that. Their whole relationship had been built on a lie, that for some looked small and harmless, but was in fact so heavy Yuzuru had used to thought he would suffocate.

"Why did you never tell me you had asthma?" Javi asked suddenly and Yuzuru sighed, looking up at him.

"I didn't have problems lately. I- I didn't think I should have." he admitted, and there was a flash of hurt in Javi's eyes.

Did he think that Yuzuru hadn't trusted him enough? That he wanted to hide it?

"I'm sorry." he offered lamely and Javi shook his head, giving him a small smile.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. Are you feeling good?"

"I'm fine."

He was still a bit dizzy, but breathing wasn't as hard as before, if still a little bit painful.

They didn't talk much, but there was something comforting in that situation, them traveling side by side. Maybe there was no chance of them getting back together, but maybe they would learn how to be friends to each other. Yuzuru would take it, if it meant that he could text Javi, meet him from time to time, hear his voice.

"It's our stop." Javi said, putting gentle hand on Yuzuru's shoulder "Are you-"

"I'm fine." Yuzuru said again, for what felt like a tenth time, and Javi smiled at him slightly, not letting go until they stepped out of the bus, right in front Yuzuru's building. Yuzuru thought that would be it, but Javi followed him inside, until they reached the door to Yuzuru's apartment.

"Thank you, Javi." Yuzuru said, meeting Javi's eyes "For walking me and for- for listening to me."

"Sure." Javi shrugged, a bit awkward, biting his lower lip for a second before breathing in heavily "And I'm sorry for- that it took me so long."

"It's okay." Yuzuru said with a hoarse chuckle "I guess I wouldn't want to talk to myself too, if I were you."

Javi looked like he wanted to say something more, but he stopped himself and just stared at Yuzuru, his eyes dark and with depth Yuzuru's couldn't reach.

It was too much, that whole day, everything what had happened. Yuzuru just wanted to rest, not to think, not to feel. Just to rest.

"You're going to be okay?" Javi asked, his expression conflicted.

"Don't worry." Yuzuru shook his head "Javi... can I see you again?" he couldn't help but ask, hopeful, and Javi bit his lip for a moment, his eyes flickering.

"I-" he swallowed visibly "I don't know, Yuzu." he said, his voice full of regret "I don't know."

Yuzuru understood. He was exhausted and heartbroken, but he understood. He didn't have any right, to expect anything.

He wanted to do one thing, though.

"I need to tell you one more thing, then." he said "I just need you to know that I regret a lot of things. I regret hurting you, more than anything. And I understand, but... I'll never regret falling in love with you. Even if it means missing you forever."

Javi's lips parted, eyes widening as he stared at him, and Yuzuru suddenly felt like laughing. He had said it, finally, when it was all over.

Javi's mouth twitched, as if he was to say something, but he didn't make a sound. Instead, he inhaled deeply, taking a small, hesitant step closer, and suddenly they were so close Yuzuru could count all his eyelashes and notice slight trembling of his lips.

"I'm going to miss you too." Javi said, his voice cracking a little "So much."

Before Yuzuru could understand what was happening, he felt gentle hands caressing his face and then Javi kissed him, painfully slow and so terribly short.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Javi whispered, his hot breath fanning over Yuzuru's lips "I will- I will call you, okay? I will. But now- take care, Yuzu."

"Goodbye." Yuzuru managed to say, and then Javi was gone, his quick footsteps fading away, and Yuzuru just stood there, feeling numb and hollow, as if his heart wasn't inside his chest anymore.

Maybe it wasn't. Maybe Javi had taken it and Yuzuru would never get it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't yell at poor boys, they both sad and full of complicated feels huh


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praise K1mHeechu1 for being a savior of this thing <333

Javi didn't call, but he sent a text, three days after their meeting in the park. It was a simple  _how are you feeling_ , but it made Yuzuru smile.

_I'm good. You?_

He was still missing Javi, terribly and breathlessly, but it didn't hurt as much as before. Now, he knew that he was forgiven, and he was so grateful for that. Maybe, someday in the future, they would be able to meet and talk, and almost forget about what had happened between them.

Maybe, one day, he would stop loving Javi, and maybe find enough strength to move on. And for now, texts were good. They were enough, a proof that Javi didn't hate him. That was all Yuzuru needed.

_Kinda dying after work. Will sleep for ages now._

Yuzuru's life was kind of empty, now. School, working in coffee shop. Working on the hotline still, because he couldn't really afford to lose that source of income. It was easy, somehow, just words that didn't mean anything to him. It was just work, and he was able to execute it with almost clinical precision.

Sometimes he touched himself, in the shower or lying awake in the middle of the night, stroking himself slowly to the memories of dark eyes and warm hands. He would come with a scream and one name falling from his lips like a quiet prayer and in those moments, he was letting himself to be vulnerable and grieve what he had lost.

But beside that, everything was okay. He was okay, and he would be.

 

* * *

  
  


He was typing on his computer, cursing himself for leaving another paper for last minute, when someone knocked to his door rather impatiently. Yuzuru cursed loudly and scrambled out of his bed, ready to yell at whoever that was bothering him.

When he opened the door, though, thoughts about screaming evaporated, because the person standing on his doorstep was Jason, and no one would ever yell at Jason.

"HI, Yuzu!" he smiled brightly, waving with a bag of take out "You left your book in professor Wilson's class, so I thought I'd stop by and give it to you. I also brought you some food, you kind of look like you need carbs lately-"

Jason kept on babbling and Yuzuru blinked rapidly, overwhelmed. They weren't close friends, but Jason was always nice, so Yuzuru decided that they could hang out for a moment.

"It's pasta from my favourite place." Jason informed him cheerfully when they sat in the kitchen "You'll love it!"

"Thank you!" Yuzuru chuckled awkwardly "Uh, do you want something to drink? I can offer water, peppermint tea or a beer."

"I'll take a beer if you get one too." Jason laughed "But if you're busy, I can totally-"

"No, no, not at all." Yuzuru shook his head, taking out two bottles out of the fridge. He figured that he could use a break, and Jason's company wasn't terrible.

They talked about school a little, Jason giving him a few tips about that dreadful paper, and Yuzuru felt himself relaxing. It felt like centuries since he had talked with someone beside Alex and Keiji, and Jason was kind and funny, and well, he had brought Yuzuru food.

"I owe you lunch for this." Yuzuru said and Jason shook his head.

"Forget about it. I would love to hang out, though. You're cool."

"Well thanks." Yuzuru laughed shortly "I might not agree, but thanks."

At that, Jason's expression turned thoughtful as he titled his head a bit, wondering.

"Everything okay, Yuzu?" he asked and Yuzuru decided there was no point in lying.

"I'm okay." he sighed "Just… went through a breakup recently.

" Aww." Jason smiled with sympathy "Was it bad? You have them blocked?"

"Well he had every right to block me." Yuzuru said, shrugging "We're in that situation when we just… text awkwardly from time to time."

"I see." Jason hummed and then smiled warmly "You still love him, don't you?"

"Very much." Yuzuru admitted "I'd give anything to get him back. Or to be his friend, at least."

"Oooh.” Jason patted his shoulder „When was the last time you talked?"

"Hmm." Yuzuru grabbed his phone "Sunday. Four days ago."

"Okay, you can write him." Jason decided "Ask him what's up."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Harmless and friendly."

"I guess." Yuzuru chuckled nervously "But you need to hand me another beer."

  
  


Four beers later Jason was snoring on the sofa while Yuzuru was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his messages and trying to analyse them. He was feeling slightly drunk, his head swimming, and he kept on starting at the message Javi had sent him ten minutes earlier.

_Can you call me?_

For the past two hours he had been texting all the harmless, casual things, with Jason's guidance. But now Jason was asleep and Yuzuru was panicking a bit. What if he made things weird? What if-

-his phone rang and Yuzuru let out a muffled screech when he saw the caller's ID, and he swallowed hard before answering the call with trembling fingers.

"Javi, hi!" he rambled and heard Javi's deep sigh.

"Hi, Yuzu. You okay?"

"Yeah! Very fine!"

A moment of silence and then another sigh.

"Are you drinking?"

"Not now!" Yuzuru exclaimed quickly and Javi chuckled quietly.

"You have some water?"

"Uuuh yes."

"Good. Drink some and go to sleep."

"Yeah. Right." Yuzuru mumbled, gasping his phone a bit more tightly. He felt stupid, for calling like that, for calling at all. He shouldn't have done that "I'm-"

"Are you drinking because of me?" Javi blurted out and Yuzuru gasped.

"Javi, I-" he stammered and Javi exhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry. Go to sleep, okay? I will text you in the morning?"

"You will?" Yuzuru asked hopefully and Javi chuckled shortly.

"I will." he promised warmly "Goodnight, Yuzu."

"Goodnight, Javi." he whispered, his heart fluttering.

In that moment, everything was good.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuzuru looked around the small restaurant garden and immediately spotted Javi, who waved at him from one of the tables, making Yuzuru's heart jump.

"Hi." he muttered, sitting down and Javi smiled at him with sympathy.

"Hangover?" he asked and Yuzuru winced.

"A tiny bit."

"I thought you would be. I ordered you break fast."

"Thanks." Yuzuru mumbled, slightly embarrassed. Now, in the clear light of the day and with pulsing headache, he saw how dumb he had been "Javi, I'm sorry, about-"

"Stop. “Javi said gently. "It's okay."

Yuzuru made a face at him, and in that moment a waitress decided to show up, saving him from his misery.

"So, I can bring that breakfast now." she smiled "What would you like to drink?"

"Peppermint tea, please." Yuzuru asked and noticed how Javi's lips twitched with amusement "I'm not going to drink a beer at 11am." he informed Javi, who grinned at that.

"That's a shame. You can always have a shot, though-"

"Stoop." Yuzuru groaned, rubbing his eyes "You know I don't believe in those magic cures."

"Yeah." Javi nodded, his expression softening "I know."

Javi's eyes were careful and searching, as if he was making some decisions, and Yuzuru shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Are you okay?" Javi asked and Yuzuru shrugged.

"I'm good." he said but Javi's expression didn't change.

"Yuzu-" he started slowly "It's not… it's not because of me, right?"

"No, no!" Yuzuru rushed "I-" he sighed deeply "Okay, it's…"

The waitress saved him again, bringing him his food and tea, and he showed big interest in that, since it saved him from talking.

The breakfast Javi had ordered for him was good, scrambled eggs, salad, bread, and after eating Yuzuru felt a little bit better. He was grateful that Javi was waiting patiently, but he still wasn't sure how to act.

"So" Javi started again, smiling easily "What-"

"I just miss you." Yuzuru blurted out before he could stop himself, and then gasped, covering his mouth, horrified.

Javi started at him for a moment, stunned, and Yuzuru was sure he messed up. But then Javi smiled again, bright and gentle.

"It's okay." he said warmly "I miss you too."

"You do?" Yuzuru asked dumbly and Javi made a face at him.

"Of course." he said quietly and Yuzuru's heart fluttered.

He looked at Javi and he couldn't stop himself from going back to their last meeting, when he had told Javi about his feelings. When they had kissed for the last time.

And now they were sitting by the same table, smiling a bit awkwardly.

"Maybe we could try… to be friends?"

It was a lot to ask, Yuzuru knew, and he wouldn't blame Javi for rejecting him. But Javi kept on smiling softly, his eyes twinkling.

"I guess we can do that." he said gently and Yuzuru felt torn between bursting into tears or laughing hysterically. He didn't do either and instead waved at the passing waitress.

"Excuse me, could I have one beer? Cold?"

Javi laughed at that, loud and warm and familiar.

"Make it two."

 

* * *

  
  


It wasn't that hard. A bit awkward sometimes, but not difficult. Yuzuru would send Javi a whiny text about his classes and get a reply with a pic of Effie. They talked about food and movies, careful not to mention anything that could trigger painful memories.

Just like that, weeks passed, and they found some kind of fragile balance they were trying to keep. They hang out a few times, quick coffee or lunch from time to time. It almost felt like old times, sometimes, when they were sitting like that, smiling and talking about something light and not important.

Yuzuru cherished those moments, when he could be close to Javi; he was so grateful, that he was allowed to go back to Javi’s life, even in that role. I still hurt, though, a dull pain settled somewhere deep in his chest, growing a bit sharper every time Javi smiled at him, kind, and Yuzuru’s mind was going back to the past. He was sure Javi was thinking about it too, his expression turning clouded from time to time, but he never said anything. It was like an unnamed rule, not mentioning the past, just going forward, step by step. Yuzuru knew that it would never allow them to be close again, avoiding that topic, trying to ignore the past event, but he would still take it. If it meant that he could look at Javi and send him a message from time to time, it was so worth it.

Javi sniffled quietly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, and Yuzuru smiled at him, feeling bubbles of laughter forming in his chest.

“You okay?” he asked and Javi nodded, sighing.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked and Yuzuru had to bite his lower lip not to laugh.

They just exited a cinema, after watching some bizarre European movie Javi had got tickets for from Laura. Yuzuru hadn’t really understood that much, but he was taking every possibility to hang out with Javi, so he sat through and hour and a half of some weird love story, with actors talking in some awfully sounding, crispy language.

“So, what’s up?” Javi asked, clearly trying to divert attention from the fact that he had been sobbing for the half of the movie “Now that the school is ending?”

“I’m going to visit my parents in three weeks, for some time.” Yuzuru said “And beside that, I worki-” he bit his tongue, terrified. He glanced at Javi, who was looking at him too and then looked away rapidly, fixing his gaze on the pavement they were walking on.

The silence was a bit awkward, and Yuzuru kind of hated himself for mentioning work and probably triggering some unpleasant memories, but Javi stayed quiet, and he didn’t seem uncomfortable. Still, Yuzuru didn’t like it, the way it was, and he had no idea what to do to change it.

Maybe there was nothing he could do, now.

They kept on walking, getting closer to their bus stop, and Yuzuru’s heart skipped a beat, sparking just a little bit of pain. It was always the worst moment, to part ways.

Yuzuru shivered when his fingers brushed against Javi’s, and it felt like every nerve in his hand came alive. He expected Javi to move away a bit, but he didn’t, letting their skin meet again before the stopped, finally reaching the stop.

“I need to go to underground.” Javi said suddenly and Yuzuru frowned, surprised.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I need to-” Javi waved, suddenly looking nervous “I- yeah, thank you for today, Yuzu. And have a nice vacation, if I won’t see you before you leave.”

He left quickly, disappearing on the stairs leading to the underground station, and Yuzuru followed him with his gaze, his stomach churning with a reminder that there was no way of going back. There never would be.

 

* * *

  
  


It was a busy day and Yuzuru couldn't count how many ice coffees he sold, everyone in the damn city wanting too cool themselves with a cold drink. Which was great for the business, but Yuzuru was exhausted.

He was fumbling with a million coins when he heard another customer approaching, and he brought his best smile.

"Hello, how can I-" he started, but then he got a look at the client's face, and words died in his throat.

"Hi, Yuzuru." Laura smiled at him "Is that lemon iced tea good?"

"Of course." Yuzuru said dumbly "The best."

"Well then I'll take it."

Laura was still smiling, but Yuzuru still felt a bit uneasy.

"I'll bring it to you." he said, and she nodded before turning away.

"You're getting back in the game already?" Keiji asked when Yuzuru was preparing Laura's order.

"It's Javi's sister." Yuzuru hissed and Keiji gasped.

"Well shit, then I'm calling Nam's ass here, you go and talk to her. Go, go." he said, basically pushing Yuzuru to move.

Yuzuru would roll his eyes at him, but he was too nervous to do so. Laura was lovely, but she for sure knew everything, what if she hated him now?

"Thank you so much." she smiled at him "Do you maybe have a moment?"

"Yeah. My boss gave me, uh, a break." he said, sitting down hesitantly.

"That's nice." she nodded before sighing quietly "I bet you know what I want to talk about."

"I think I do."

Laura kept on looking at him before taking a sip of her drink and speaking again.

"I really wanted to come here and kick your ass. When he told me."

Yuzuru swallowed hard, looking at his own hands before glancing at Laura again.

"I really… I really regret it. Doing that."

"I know." Laura said "I kinda wanted to murder you back then, but I really believe you. I mean, Javi forgave you, so I gotta do it too."

"Thank you." Yuzuru said, with a bit of difficulty "I-" he hesitated, not really sure what to say, and Laura's expression softened, and Yuzuru realized her eyes had the exact same colour as Javi's.

"I need to ask you something." she said gently "I need to know what you feel for my brother."

There was no point in lying, Yuzuru figure.

"I love him." he admitted quietly "I love him a lot."

He had come to terms with that, and it almost didn't hurt, to say it out loud.

"You know-" Laura said suddenly "You know, he didn't tell our parents."

“What?”

“He didn’t tell our parents, that you two… aren’t together anymore.”

Yuzuru gaped at that, and he knew that he looked dumb, but he couldn’t understand why Javi would keep it a secret from his parents.

“I’m-” he trailed off, no idea what to say, and Laura smiled at him widely, tilting her head as she looked at him thoughtfully.

“I know that Javi-” she sighed, her smile turning gentler “- it really shocked him, you know. You- he had big hopes, for that relationship, and it kind of broke his heart.”

“I know.” Yuzuru said, his lips suddenly “And… mine too.”

Laura nodded, her gaze intent, and Yuzuru felt his heartbeat quickening.

“He’s really happy, that you guys are talking again. Being friends. But I think-” she hesitated and Yuzuru felt his skin itching, chest filling with fear that she would tell him to stay back. She had every right to do that, to want to protect Javi from being hurt again. But Laura smiled, wide and smile, with a smile that looked just like Javi’s.

“Please, don’t hurt him again.” she said quietly, touching Yuzuru’s hand.

“What does it-” Yuzuru choked out, his stomach churning as his mind was racing, trying to figure out what she meant “Does he-”

Laura shook her head, still smiling.

“I need to go.” she said, standing up “But I hope to see you again soon.”

“Me too.” Yuzuru said, feeling weird, his heart fluttering.

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru glanced at the door, his eyes following the last customer, and then he checked the time. Three minutes before closing, so he still had a few minutes to start cleaning up. He took care of the chairs, putting them on the tables and then mopped the floor, not really paying attention to that task. Then he got back behind the counter, checking the phone again and wincing.

He didn’t mind closing, usually, since Keiji was a great boss and always gave extra few dollars the one who had to deal with all the mess. Tonight, though, it was a bit inconvenient, since Javi had offered to pick Yuzuru up and get some food before Yuzuru’s trip home.

The only thing he could think about for the past week was his talk with Laura. He tried not to read into that too much, but he couldn’t help but feel a tiny spark of hope.

Maybe, if he took things slow, he could…

The door opened and Yuzuru raised his head rapidly, his heart skipping a beat.

"Hi." Javi smiled, stepping inside, and Yuzuru smiled back.

"Could you lock the door? The key is there." he asked and Javi nodded, turning the key and then making his way to the counter.

"Do you need help with something?" he asked, peeping behind the counter "I could wash those cups-?"

"No, no." Yuzuru shook his head "I'm good, it's twenty minutes of work, I will make you something to drink and-"

"Come on." Javi chuckled, making his way to join Yuzuru "Now it's going to take ten."

Yuzuru wanted to oppose, but Javi was already on it, so Yuzuru had no other choice than to go back to his work too.

He couldn't help but keep on glancing at Javi every few moments, and there was something hot coiling inside him, his heartbeat quickening. He was so happy and grateful that they could be like that, easy and comfortable, and in some moments Yuzuru dared to hope that maybe, someday, they could... that maybe they could be something again.

Yuzuru forgot what he was doing for a moment, standing still and watching Javi, relaxed line of his shoulders, his hair curling a little, and Yuzuru's insides twisted with a sharp, sudden want. He would have given anything, to have a right to touch Javi, to kiss him. But he had to be patient, and wait for Javi to come to him, if he would ever decide he wanted to try again.

"Yuzu?"

Yuzuru blinked rapidly and realized that Javi was now looking at him, head tilted and a small, confused smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry." Yuzuru cleared his throat, feeling blush creeping on his cheeks; he knew he should probably turn away and finish his work, but he couldn't, trapped in Javi's gaze.

"Why?" Javi asked, smiling a bit wider, and Yuzuru felt like his heart started hammering.

He didn't dare to hope, he didn't dare to read in, to that smile, the way Javi looked at him. And he didn't say anything, too breathless, and something flickered in Javi's gaze, his expression turning almost serious. Yuzuru watched, almost in slow motion, how Javi swallowed hard, letting out a deep, shaky breath, and something inside Yuzuru snapped.

They both moved at the same moment, meeting halfway, clashing against each other, hands roaming and trying to hold on while they kissed, deep and desperate. Yuzuru's blood was buzzing, his head spinning as he was clinging to Javi's shoulders. It was overwhelming, to have Javi so close, after weeks of craving his touch, to kiss him, to feel his tongue slipping inside Yuzuru's mouth, hot and demanding.

"Oh my god." Yuzuru panted when they parted, his lips brushing against Javi's "Oh my god, Javi-"

"I can't." Javi mumbled frantically, his hands gripping Yuzuru's hips "I can't, I can't-" he repeated, desperate, and Yuzuru's heart thudded.

"It's okay, I'm sorry, I’m so sorry-" he choked out, trying to step back, but Javi shook his head rapidly, one hand tangling in Yuzuru's hair, keeping him close.

"I can't stay back any longer." he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Yuzuru's "I thought I needed more time, I thought I should've... but I only need you, Yuzu. I need you."

Yuzuru felt a wave crashing in his chest, relief, fondness, lust and so much love. His hands were trembling as he moved them to Javi's face, stroking his cheeks, feeling his light stubble, the familiar warmth of his skin.

"I want to make this right, Javi." he murmured against Javi's lips "Just tell me what you need me to do, and I will. Just-" he swallowed hard "I will do anything."

Javi's breathing hitched as he moved his lips along Yuzuru's cheekbone before whispering into his ear.

"I want you. So much."

It was sealed, with that. Yuzuru was vaguely aware of a needy moan escaping his lips before he kissed Javi again, pulling him impossibly close. It felt like a dream, and everything inside him was burning. He bit on Javi's bottom lip lightly and Javi yelped quietly, pressing Yuzuru against the fridge and kissing him harder, with so much need and want Yuzuru couldn't stop himself from trembling. He reached for Javi's shirt, unbuttoning the top and moving his lips there, planting kisses along Javi's collarbone; he slowly slid his hands down Javi's sides, hooking one finger on Javi's belt, suddenly feeling unsure.

It was happening so fast so suddenly, and it was making him dizzy, shaking with want, but also a bit of uncertainty, because he knew that it was still so fragile, their renewed closeness.

"Javi." he breathed out, withdrawing a little so he could look Javi in the eyes "Javi, can I-"

"Please." Javi said, his eyes blurred with want "Yuzu, please."

They kissed again, with as much fire as before, hands sneaking under clothes, touching. They slid down to the floor and Yuzuru couldn't stop himself from giggling when they switched positions so Javi was leaning against the fridge, Yuzuru in his lap and fumbling with the buttons of Javi's shirt, fingers shaking and needy.

It was a bit of a struggle to get rid of their pants and underwear, and Javi whined quietly when he felt how cold the tiles were, but then laughed shortly, wrapping his arms around Yuzuru.

"Come here." he mumbled, bringing him closer and Yuzuru melted against his chest, kissing him deep and slow. Javi hummed contentedly, but then he gasped quietly, making Yuzuru pull back a little.

"Wait, wait." he panted and Yuzuru felt a spark of anxiety, but then he noticed deep blush crawling on Javi's cheeks and neck "I, umm, I don't have anything-" Javi confessed and Yuzuru blinked, not understanding, but then he got it and he couldn't help but smile.

"It's okay." he said, an idea suddenly popping in his head, and he reached to one of the shelves that was convincingly very close to him, and it took him a second to find a bottle of olive oil "We can, uh, use this." he said and Javi gaped, his eyes widening "Or we don't have to, we can-"

He was cut off by Javi's lips on his, insisting and urgent, and so warm.

"I don't have a condom either." he muttered "I didn't think we would- but there was no one else-"

Yuzuru's heart was about to explode as he took Javi's face in his hands, swallowing hard as he locked their gazes together. He wanted to tell Javi how much he loved him, but it didn't think like a right moment, and Javi deserved better than to hear it while sprawled on the coffee shop's floor. Yuzuru still could give him something though, and it everything Yuzuru wanted to do.

"There's only you." he said, his fingers tracing Javi's brow, his lips, sliding to press it over his heart "Only you."

Javi inhaled deeply and then surged forward, kissing Yuzuru again, and Yuzuru chuckled happily, fingers fiddling with the bottle. He winced a little when he got some of his fingers but decided not to focus on it. Javi was holding him close as Yuzuru reached behind himself, painfully aware of his own arousal, and whined quietly as he carefully pushed one finger in. Javi was watching him like mesmerized, eyes wide and dark with arousal, his thumbs circling soothingly on Yuzuru's hips.

"Javi." Yuzuru moaned quietly, adding a second finger, closing his eyes and throwing his head back "Javi-"

Javi leaned forward, kissing Yuzuru's neck, and Yuzuru gasped, rolling his hips against his own fingers.

"Okay." he panted, withdrawing his fingers "I'm good."

Javi squealed quietly when Yuzuru oiled his cock, biting his lip and looking at Yuzuru with so much trust and want, it almost hurt, the amount of feelings there. Yuzuru placed his hands on Javi's shoulders, raising on his knees and taking a deep breath before slowly sliding down Javi's cock.

"Oh." he whined helplessly, leaning his forehead against Javi's "Oh, Javi-"

"It feels so good." Javi breathed out "Fuck-"

Yuzuru couldn't stand taking it slow now, so he slid all the way down, crying out quietly as he felt Javi's cock filling him perfectly, just on the edge of slight discomfort.

"Yuzu." Javi choked out and Yuzuru kissed him, rolling his hips and moaning quietly against Javi's lips.

It felt amazing, to feel Javi's hot, slick cock moving inside him, and Yuzuru wished he was able to drag it, to devour every second, but his body was tense, his own cock painfully hard, leaning precum on Javi's stomach.

"Oh fuck, Yuzu." Javi moaned, throwing his head back against the cool surface of the fridge "You're so tight, I-" he thrusted up, meeting Yuzuru's moves, and Yuzuru keened, burying his head in the crook of Javi's neck.

It was so… freeing, to be with Javi like that, without that awful need to hold back as they were chasing their pleasure, moves fast and frantic.

It was good, so good, but somehow not enough, and Yuzuru's thighs were burning, his knees hurting from hard floor.

"Javi." Yuzuru whimpered, going down in a hard motion and shaking with pleasure "Javi, I need-"

Javi understood, because he wrapped one arm around Yuzuru's waist, the other cradling his head, and he gently made Yuzuru lie on his back. Yuzuru whined when Javi slipped out of him, and then gasped at the feeling of cold tiles under his back. Javi crawled on top of him, kissing him hard and wrapping one hand around Yuzuru's thigh, pushing it up and spreading Yuzuru's legs.

"Javi- ah!" Yuzuru cried out when Javi filled him with one smooth thrust "Yes!"

"Oh fuck, Yuzu!" Javi groaned, setting quick, hard pace that was making Yuzuru's body light up with pleasure "Fuck, it's been so long-" he muttered, leaning to place little biting kissed to Yuzuru's shoulders.

"I missed you so much." Yuzuru basically sobbed, wrapping his legs around Javi's waist and then basically choking on air "Javi!"

"I'm going to come." Javi whined brokenly against Yuzuru's neck "Yuzu, I'm going to come inside you-"

They came only seconds apart, their voices mixing, bodies shaking as they were riding their high together, and Yuzuru half expected he was going to pass out. Javi was lying on top of him, crushing him a little, but Yuzuru didn't mind. In that moment everything was perfect, little aftershocks, running through his body, Javi's soft cock still inside him. He felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes and in that moment Javi inhaled sharply, slowly raising on his elbows to look down at him.

"Okay?" he asked hoarsely, touching Yuzuru's cheek.

"Yeah." Yuzuru nodded weakly and Javi smiled before slowly withdrawing from Yuzuru's body.

"Oh!" he yelped and Javi looked at him with worry "It's okay, just… sensitive."

"Ahh." Javi smiled, looking down and gasping quietly, his eyes going wide "Oh my god."

"Hmm?" Yuzuru hummed and then keened, feeling a gentle finger touching his hole "Oh, ooh."

"Sorry." Javi blushed "I, umm, I'll help you clean up, just-" he looked around and grabbed a pack of wet wipes from one of the low shelves.

He was quick and gentle, and when his job was done Yuzuru couldn't stop himself from sitting up and kissing him, slowly and lazily.

"Javi." he muttered, looking Javi in the eyes "Can I go home with you?"

"Yes." Javi brushed his lips against Yuzuru's "But I think we need to clean up first, or Keiji would have our heads."

"Yeah." Yuzuru giggled, nuzzling closer so their noses touched "He really would."

 

* * *

  
  


Everything was warm. The sheets under Yuzuru's back, the air, Javi's body moving above him.

So warm. So perfect.

Javi leaned in and caught Yuzuru's lips with his, kissing him softly as he kept on thrusting slowly, moving in and out Yuzuru's body in deep, unhurried pace.

It was so much different from what had happened in the shop, only a few hours earlier. They had been giddy, frantic with need, desperate; now they moved slowly, not daring to look away from each other, fingers tangled on the sheets.

Yuzuru's body was trembling with need, but he didn't dare to rush it. Javi's face was slack with pleasure, his eyes shining as he looked at Yuzuru with so much feeling Yuzuru couldn't breathe.

"Javi." he murmured, cupping his cheek, his hips rolling gently against Javi's.

"Javi." he repeated, delighted that he could say it out loud, feeling Javi's cock brushing gently against his prostate, making him keen and tremble.

Javi kissed him again, his tongue slipping inside Yuzuru's mouth, stroking, moves slow and deliberate, teasing and lazy.

"You're here." he whispered into Yuzuru's mouth "Here."

He carded through Yuzuru's hair, holding the back of his head and gently forcing Yuzuru to look at him.

“I missed you so much.” Javi whispered, brushing their noses together “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Yuzuru gasped, his back arching at one especially perfect stroke “You don’t have to be sorry, I-” Javi cut him off with another kiss, slow and intimate, before resting his forehead against Yuzuru’s, eyes closed, breathing rapid and shallow. He whispered something, Yuzuru wasn’t even sure if it was English, before wrapping one hand around Yuzuru’s waist, pulling him closer, and Yuzuru’s lips parted in a quiet scream.

“What do you need?” Javi asked hoarsely, raising in his elbow to look Yuzuru in the eyes, his own expression blurred with want, and Yuzuru’s heart was so full he felt like it was about to explode.

“I need you to come.” he breathed out “I need to feel you come inside me.”

Javi whined loudly, his eyes falling close as his hips moved faster now, and Yuzuru was fascinated by the way his muscles worked, how his skin was shining, the way his eyelids fluttered as his mouth fell open.

“Yuzu.” he sobbed brokenly and a second later he was coming, filling Yuzuru up, and that tipped him over the edge too. His orgasm was blinding, leaving his breathless, his limbs feeling heavy and head spinning, and he couldn’t count how many minutes he was lying quietly, unmoved with Javi’s breathing fanning over his temple.

Was it real? Or maybe it was just a dream, too good to be true-

“Hey.” Javi said softly, tracing his cheek with one finger “Are you okay?”

His eyes were warm and relaxed, and Yuzuru felt like he was about to cry because it wasn’t a dream, it was real, and Javi was right next to him, soft and happy, and Yuzuru had to suppress a sob that was forming inside his throat, Instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Javi’s in a short, sloppy kiss that made Javi chuckle.

“Okay.” Javi said breathlessly when they parted “Shower?”

Shower was a great idea, and Yuzuru was beyond pleased when Javi stepped inside with him, smiling broadly as he turned the water on.

“When I moved in here, I was wondering why the heck this shower is so big.” Javi said, reaching for a soap “Now I don’t complain.”

Yuzuru was still feeling lightheaded and a bit dizzy, so he just let Javi clean him up, wincing a little when he felt his fingers in a few sensitive spots.

“Sorry.” Javi smiled, kissing his cheek before putting the soap away; he looked at Yuzuru and took a deep breathe, still smiling, but also with a flicker of something new in his eyes.

“This is probably the worst moment.” he said, taking Yuzuru’s face in his hands, stroking his cheeks “But what the hell.”

“Huh?” Yuzuru blinked slowly, feeling warm and relaxed, hot water running down his back, and Javi’s expression flickered.

“I love you too.”

Yuzuru gaped, his eyes going wide, heart stopping for a second.

“Javi-?” he asked dumbly, his voice sounding like a weak squeak, and Javi laughed shortly.

“Yeah, that’s me, being in love with you.”

Yuzuru always knew that Javi had some feelings for him, but he never really dared to think, to hope, that-

“Hey, hey.” Javi muttered with concern, rubbing his cheek, and Yuzuru realized that there were tears falling from his eyes and he felt annoyed with himself, for being such a cry-baby, but suddenly it was so much, to know that Javi loved him back, even after-

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” Javi rambled, still concerned, and he turned the water off, reaching for a towel “I knew it was a bad mom-”

Yuzuru kissed him, because it was the only thing he could do, kiss him deep and hard, because he could. Javi yelped against his lips, wrapping his arms around Yuzuru’s waist to steady him and kissing him back.

“I love you so much.” Yuzuru whispered when they parted, pressing his lips to Javi’s cheek “I love you so much.”

Javi breathed out deeply, squeezing Yuzuru’s hip before withdrawing a little, searching for Yuzuru’s eyes.

“I have so many things to tell you.” he said quietly, brushing Yuzuru’s bangs “But I will tell you all of that tomorrow.”

Yuzuru nodded, burying his face in the crook of Javi’s neck and inhaling deeply.

Now, they had time. They had all the time they needed.  
  



	9. Chapter 9

 

Javi was absolutely beautiful when he was sleeping. Well, he was awfully attractive all the time, but watching him sleep was making Yuzuru's heart melt. Some people would call staring like that creepy, but Yuzuru didn't care, so happy and filled with so much love he felt like his chest was about to explode.

Javi mumbled something in his sleep, nuzzling into the pillow. He looked even younger like that, in the morning light, all messy hair and long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. Yuzuru couldn't quite believe that he had Javi back, in his bed and in his life, and that there was so much more to come.

He smiled fondly to himself and leaned to brush his lips against Javi's cheek, feeling his short stubble, and then carefully got out of bed, managing not to wake Javi up. He paced to the kitchen, barefoot, and quickly discovered that Javi had barely any food left, except bread, eggs and one sad avocado.

"Well, there goes romantic breakfast." Yuzuru chuckled to himself and then yelped quietly when he felt something warm rubbing against his leg "Effie!" he exclaimed, crouching to pet her "Hello there, little one. You missed me?"

Effie purred happily, pushing her head against his palm. Yuzuru laughed quietly and stood up, reaching to a cabinet where Javi was keeping all the cat food. He fed Effie and then started preparing poor avocado toasts and hot beverages.

He managed to carry it all to the bedroom and not drop or spill anything.

"Hey." he whispered, getting back to the bed and pressing a few kisses along Javi's jaw "Wake up, sleepy, I made you breakfast."

"Hmm?" Javi mumbled eloquently, opening his eyes and looking at Yuzuru with big, blurry eyes "Do I smell coffee?"

"Yes, you do." Yuzuru grinned and Javi smiled, sitting up and groaning quietly.

"You need to go for some grocery shopping." Yuzuru said when Javi bit into his toast, humming contentedly "Good?"

"The best." Javi said "Nothing better than breakfast in bed."

They somehow managed not to make a mess, and when they finished their food, they found a comfortable position, Javi resting against the headboard and Yuzuru cradled against his chest. It was close to the noon and they should probably think about getting up. But on the other hand, the only thing Yuzuru had to do was packing for his trip home. He couldn't help but feel like the timing was pretty awful, they had just gotten together and now he was leaving for a week, but he really wanted to see his family.

"Hey Yuzu." Javi said suddenly, fingers playing with Yuzuru's hair "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Javi hesitated for a moment and then took a deep breath.

"I just wanted to ask... but don't answer if you don't want to! I just... could you tell me about the call? What did you, uh... think about me?"

It stung, but only for a second, because then Yuzuru turned to look at Javi and saw his smile, and he knew he didn't have to worry about anything anymore.

"I thought that you were absolutely charming." he said and Javi snorted "What, that's true! You were so... shy, and you sounded just a little bit sad? I sometimes get calls from people who just want to talk to someone, but you were just... there was something about you. And your voice..." Yuzuru smiled "You really did things to me."

"Oh." Javi bit his lip, his cheeks turning pink "So you were- it was... good?"

"Javi." Yuzuru chuckled, dropping a kiss to his shoulder "You made me come so hard that day, and that hadn't happened before, during-" he trailed off, suddenly realizing that they hadn't talked about some very important thing, and Yuzuru felt a lump forming in his throat.

"Hey." Javi muttered, brushing his nose against Yuzuru's cheek "What-"

"I still work there." Yuzuru admitted, closing his eyes "I need that money, so I still work there, but Javi, I can-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, because he was silenced by Javi's lips, and he squealed into the kiss, surprised.

"It's okay." Javi said when they parted and Yuzuru opened his eyes to see his gentle smile "It's okay. I get it."

"You do?" Yuzuru asked dumbly and Javi sighed, his fingers tracing Yuzuru's collarbone.

"You know, I don't think that job is shameful, or wrong. And it was never the reason I- I got angry." he said quietly and Yuzuru's heart stuttered.

"I know." he murmured, taking Javi's hand and pressing a kiss to his fingers "But if you feel uncomfortable, I can-"

"Yuzu." Javi said quietly, shaking his head "It's-" he took a deep breath and the chuckled "You know, I was totally sober when I called you. I was lonely and kind of miserable, and I just wanted to do something except feeling sorry for myself. And you really made me feel better, you know? Great orgasm aside, I just felt-" Javi shook his head, smiling "Okay, we need to stop with the sappy talk because I will cry."

"Well too late." Yuzuru chuckled wetly, wiping his eyes "You're terrible."

"Right?" Javi chuckled before taking Yuzuru's face in his hands and kissing him. Yuzuru melted against him, kissing him back, and everything was just like it supposed to be. They kept on making out, slow and lazy, and after a few minutes Yuzuru felt himself getting excited, and apparently Javi noticed that, because he laughed lowly, the sound rumbling in his chest.

"You know what." Javi said, grinning widely "I just got the best idea."

"What kind of an idea?"

Javi smiled even wider at that, leaning to brush his lips against Yuzuru's, but pulling away almost immediately, making Yuzuru whine. "Javi." he pouted and Javi chuckled, leaning in again.

"You're so demanding." he said against Yuzuru's lips and Yuzuru had a witty remark for that, but then he felt Javi's hand sliding down his chest and gently wrapping around his half- hard cock.

"Oh." he yelped and Javi grinned, kissing him hard again before pulling back again "Ooh."

"I thought I could say thank you for breakfast." Javi said and then his smile turned a little bit shy "And I thought that I could, you know- learn new stuff?"

"Learn new stuff?" Yuzuru repeated, feeling giddy "You're adorab- ah!" he squeaked when Javi tightened his grip around Yuzuru's cock, stroking him slowly.

"You were saying?" Javi asked, pressing his lips to Yuzuru's collarbone, his hand moving in the same unhurried pace until Yuzuru's cock was fully hard, arousal pooling heavily in the pit of his stomach. He moaned quietly when Javi started kissing down his chest, small, wet kisses, and Yuzuru felt a spike of excitement running down his spine.

"Move a bit for me, okay?" Javi muttered, grabbing Yuzuru's hips and gently pulling him in half lying position, and Yuzuru sighed deeply, leaning his head against the pillow. He heard Javi inhaling deeply and a second later he felt warm breath fanning over his cock, and he moaned quietly, the anticipation making him go mad.

"Javi, ple- oh!" he gasped, feeling Javi's lips around his length "Oh yes!"

He raised his head a little and felt a harsh spike of arousal when he saw how Javi was moving slowly between his legs, his mouth hot and slick around Yuzuru. It was clear that he didn't really have too much experience, his moves slow and a bit careful, but he didn't seem uncomfortable at all, and it was such a turn on Yuzuru had to try really hard not to thrust up into Javi’s throat.

"You're doing so good." he muttered, reaching to run his fingers through Javi's curls "And how you look-" he trailed off and Javi made small sound around him, making Yuzuru gasp.

It felt a bit like a torture, that slow pace, but Yuzuru didn't want to rush Javi, even though it was killing him, his body hot and trembling with need.

"Javi." he pleaded breathlessly "Javi, ah! Yes!" he moaned when Javi started sucking, tongue swirling around the tip, and Yuzuru's back arched, his hips thrusting up into Javi's mouth. He wanted to apologize, knowing that it could be startling, but Javi didn't pull back. Instead, he took Yuzuru even deeper, making small, choked out sounds but not showing any will to pull back, and Yuzuru's head started spinning with desire.

"Yes, yes!" he chanted, feeling his orgasm approaching "Fuck, Javi, I'm going to-"

Javi pulled back at that, bringing his hand to Yuzuru's cock and finishing him in fast, hard strokes, and Yuzuru's body tensed up as he spilled into Javi's hand, crying out quietly.

"Oh." he breathed out shakily, his chest heaving "Oh wow, I need to make you breakfast everyday now-"

Javi giggled at that, crawling up his body to kiss him on the cheek and Yuzuru cupped his jaw, forcing him to kiss him on the lips, humming contentedly.

"That's better." he mumbled, nibbling on Javi's bottom lip and making him keen quietly "Oh I see you enjoyed that too." he said teasingly, rolling his hips and feeling Javi's erection.

Javi smiled at that sheepishly, shrugging.

"Your moaning is a big turn on, okay." he said "I'm going to, uh-"

"Nuh, come here." Yuzuru smiled, turning on his stomach and giggling at Javi's gasp.

"You sure? We already had some-"

"Yep, that's convenient you don't have to do much prepping." Yuzuru said, looking over his shoulder "You know that I love to feel you inside." he said lowly and Javi shuddered visibly before scrambling to the bedside table and fumbling with lube and condoms, and Yuzuru sighed deeply, pressing his cheek to the pillow. A moment later he felt Javi's fingers entering him and he scoffed, wiggling his ass.

"Come on, I'm good."

"Gotta be sure, okay?" Javi chuckled, leaning to press a kiss to Yuzuru's nape before sitting back across his thighs "If-"

"Come on, fuck me."

Javi inhaled sharply before grabbing Yuzuru's ass, spreading him open, and then thrust in with one smooth move. Yuzuru shuddered, grasping the sheets and closing his eyes. Javi was moving hard and fast, letting out quiet sounds of pleasure, and Yuzuru liked it, too feel him entering his body like that, chasing his own orgasm. Yuzuru knew he wouldn't come again, not so soon and after that pretty intense night, but he still enjoyed it, the drag of Javi's cock inside him, brushing his prostate teasingly from time to time.

"Oh yes." Javi groaned lowly, squeezing Yuzuru's ass and making him moan "You feel so good, baby."

"I can feel you getting close." Yuzuru breathed out, reaching back and finding Javi's hand, entwining their fingers "Come on, Javi, come for me-"

"Oh Yuzu." Javi moaned, his hips stuttering as he let out a loud whine and came, leaning forward to press himself to Yuzuru's back, breathing into his ear heavily.

"Thank you." he murmured, pressing a sloppy kiss to Yuzuru's cheek before rolling off of him, turning his face to him "This is the best kind of morning." he announced and Yuzuru smiled at him, feeling warm and relax and sure.

"Come with me." he blurted out and Javi blinked, confused.

"Huh?"

"To visit my parents. Maybe not for full two weeks, but maybe-"

"Your parents?" Javi asked, sounding stunned, and Yuzuru felt a little bit nervous.

"But you don't have to if-"

"I'd love to!" Javi exclaimed, his face lightning up with a smile "I mean, I need to ask Patrick to take one shift but yeah, I so can make it-"

Yuzuru surged forward and pressed their lips together, his hand coming to grasp Javi's hip, keeping him close.

"I love you." he whispered into Javi's mouth "I love you so much, and I still don't know what I have done to deserve you."

"I love you too." Javi said, nuzzling closer "So much."

With that, everything had to work out.

 

* * *

 

After spending seven hours in a bus, they were both looking and feeling like pulled through a mangle. The day was a hot one, and the air condition in the bus was barely doing anything, but it was kinda nice, to be back in his hometown, on that familiar bus terminal.

"Okay, where is he." Yuzuru muttered, looking around, trying to spot a familiar figure "Oh, there he is!" he exclaimed, waving enthusiastically "Dad!"

"Yuzu!" his father smiled brightly, making his way to them "It's so good to see you!"

They hugged, and Yuzuru felt so happy in his embrace, surrounded by a familiar scent of cologne.

"There, there." his father patted his shoulder before turning to Javi "And you must be Javier."

"Just Javi is okay." Javi smiled widely, shaking his hand "It's so nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Yuzuru's father smiled "Alright boys, let's go, they can't wait to see both of you!"

Just like Yuzuru had been predicting, first half an hour at home was just hectic. His mother was hugging him for solid five minutes before hugging Javi tightly, babbling about all those great things she had heard about him. To be completely true, Yuzuru hadn't talked about him too much, but it didn't change the fact that she was really excited.

"You look so tired, boys." she said, touching Javi's cheek before smiling at Yuzuru widely "Go and shower, I will prepare you something to drink and set the table. Fresh sheets are on your bed, Yuzu." she added with a twinkle in her eyes and Yuzuru grinned, already suspecting what it meant.

Just like he had thought, his parents hadn't bothered with setting a futon.

"Well, well, well, I'm kinda surprised." Javi chuckled, dropping his bag to the floor.

"That my parents aren't prudes?" Yuzuru snorted "Do you see this bed, perfect size for two people."

"Can't wait to check it out." Javi announced, looking for something in his bag "Okay, I found the less wrinkled shirt to look acceptable."

"You always look acceptable." Yuzuru said, running his hand down Javi's back "You want to shower together? Will save time?"

"Baby, I don't think seeing you naked will make me think about saving time."

"Well I guess we can try?"

"You bet we can."

 

* * *

 

"Saya and Jamie are coming tomorrow." Yuzuru's mother informed them during dinner that they managed not get late to. It felt good, to be home and to sit in that familiar room he had been doing homework for years. And it was even better, to have Javi by his side, who was smiling easily, looking content and comfortable. Yuzuru's parents seemed to like Javi a lot already, and they were showing a lot of interest in him, so it was a win.

"That's great." Yuzuru smiled, thinking about his sister, and his father chuckled.

"Judging by her calls, her tongue is even sharper than usual-"

"Pregnancy makes us all cranky." his mom rolled her eyes "Do you want more stew, Javi?"

"Thank you, I'm good." Javi smiled "But it's very good, is there a chance on getting a recipe?"

"Oh, so you like cooking?"

"He's an awesome cook." Yuzuru chimed in "Once he cooked the best chicken soup ever, I'm pretty sure it cured my flu."

"It was just a soup-"

"The best soup!"

"I see, I see." Yuzuru's mom laughed, and he was thrilled to see pure fondness on her face "So, Javi, will you tell me a bit about your family?"

 

 

"They're so nice." Javi said a few hour later when they were tucked in the bed, Yuzuru's head resting on Javi's chest "I mean, I knew they would be, but still!"

"They're so excited. I was never really in a serious relationship, at least that serious, and well-" Yuzuru shrugged "I was really babbling about you for two hours straight when I called to tell them you would be coming with me."

"That's what parents are for, to be excited for us." Javi said, pressing a kiss to Yuzuru's temple, and Yuzuru shifted a little so now he could look into Javi's eyes.

"Hey Javi? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"So… some time ago Laura came to the coffee shop and we had a little talk, and she told me- she said that you hadn't told your parents that we weren't together anymore."

"Oh." Javi blinked, his expression shifting "I, uh..." he trailed off and the sighed, leaning his head against the pillow so now Yuzuru had to raise on his elbow to get a better look at his face.

"What?" he asked, a bit anxious, and Javi took a deep breath, meeting his eyes again.

"I couldn't really bring myself to do it. I think... I was in love with you already I... it hurt, but I couldn't force myself to let go, even though there were moments I couldn't even stand thinking about you."

There was a trace of regret in his eyes, brief and fleeting, and Yuzuru had to bite his tongue not to apologize again. So instead he just leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Javi's lips, hand caressing his cheek gently. "I love you." he whispered, the words sending a thrill of excitement down his spine "And I'm so lucky you gave me a chance."

"How could I not." Javi smiled, grabbing the front of Yuzuru's shirt and pulling him closer "How could I not."

 

* * *

 

"Teach me your ways, brother." Saya said and Yuzuru glanced at her from above his chopping board.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you don't need to, I have a man on my own, but this-" she pointed through the window, when the rest of the family was gathered around the garden table "This is something I haven't expected."

"First, fucking rude. Second, did you only offer to help me in here because you wanted to interrogate me?"

"Obviously." Saya snorted, stealing a carrot and munching it "That coffee shop story is cute as fuck, but I have hard time believing that's all." she said, wiggling her eyebrows and them reaching for a cucumber "Uh, I think that one will be a vegetarian." she said, touching her belly "So, brother?"

"You're insufferable." Yuzuru rolled his eyes but smiled fondly. Saya was his best friend, and he guessed he could tell her the whole story "So…do you remember how I told you that Alex started that hotline?"

"Yeah, the one you're working on?" Saya laughed at his gaping "Come on, I figured."

"Uhhh, of course you did." Yuzuru muttered, reaching for an onion and already cringing "So… he called me?"

"No!" Saya gasped "Wow, how?"

"He came to the coffee shop. I recognized him, but he didn't." Yuzuru wiped his eyes with his sleeve "And yeah, now we're here?"

Saya kept on staring at him for a long moment and then shook her head.

"I won't push you anymore, because I can see that this is something worthy to be talked about with a glass of wine. And it's not an option now."

"Yeah, I guess so." Yuzuru sniffled, throwing the onion to the bowl, mixing everything and blushing a little when adding a bit of olive oil "Okay, we can go back."

"Mhhh." Saya nodded, grabbing a leftover tomato and biting into it "I saw your boyfriend talking with my husband very animatedly, do you think they're planning to run away together?"

"Oh my god, I can't wait for my second nephew to appear, maybe your jokes would come back to normal-"

"Yeah, don't think so." Saya laughed as they walked back to the garden.

"We were wondering where you disappeared." Jamie said with a laugh and Yuzuru grinned at his brother in law, patting his shoulder and sitting down.

"We were just having a very deep conversation." Yuzuru informed, looking around "Excuse me, where did my boyfriend disappear?"

"Playing with Miki somewhere. Oh, there." Jamie pointed a distant corner of the garden and Yuzuru followed his gaze to see Javi running around with the little boy, and he could even hear some quiet squeals of joy, and Yuzuru's heart fluttered at a thought he didn't really dare to name, but he decided not to forget.

 

 

"Are you sure?" Yuzuru asked for probably tenth time, and Javi rolled his eyes.

"Stop asking me that or I'll get an impression that you think it's a bad idea."

"No, no." Yuzuru shook his head, taking Javi's hand and squeezing it gently "I just want to make sure that-"

"Yuzu." Javi said, his voice serious but eyes shining "Do I really have to beg for you to fuck me?"

Yuzuru inhaled sharply at that, feeling a spark of arousal.

"No." he said, leaning in for a kiss "I can't wait."

It was a quiet Saturday evening and they had the house all for themselves, since Yuzuru's family was out for a dinner at their friends', something they had promised to attend long time ago. Yuzuru and Javi didn’t mind being left alone, in fact, they were looking forward to having some time together. And when Javi mentioned something they had been talking about weeks earlier, Yuzuru couldn't really say no to that.

It was a big responsibility, but Yuzuru was excited. He couldn't even remember properly the last time he had been on top and thought about doing it with Javi was thrilling. Adding the fact that Javi had never been with a man like that, Yuzuru's hands were trembling as he was taking Javi's shirt off, pressing kisses to his neck. He wanted to make him feel safe and comfortable, and good, because he deserved all of that. He let his hands wander across Javi's chest, shoulders, back, enjoying the feeling of strong muscles under his fingers.

God, he loved him so much.

Taking off their pants and underwear was taking some effort and caused a lot of laughter, like usual, and like always Yuzuru's breathing hitched when he looked at Javi like that, naked and smiling, with trust and love filling his eyes.

"Okay." Yuzuru muttered against Javi's lips, putting his hands on Javi's shoulder and pushing him gently "Lay down and let me take care of you."

Javi took a deep breath and nodded, smiling with all the trust in the world.

"If you want me to stop at any point, or slow down, you tell me, okay?" Yuzuru said, grabbing the lube and settling himself between Javi's legs, and Javi made a face at him.

"That's my line."

"Not today."

Yuzuru took it slowly, carefully, eyes never leaving Javi's face, looking for any signs of discomfort. There was some, in the beginning, but by the moment Yuzuru added the second finger, Javi's body visibly relaxed.

"You're doing so good." Yuzuru said encouragingly, leaning to press a kiss to Javi's stomach.

"It's you who's doing most of the work- oh!" Javi yelped when Yuzuru scissored his fingers gently "Oh, Ohhh."

"Good oh, bad oh?"

"The best oh." Javi said breathlessly, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply "This is... oh, Yuzu, I-"

"You look so amazing like that." Yuzuru said, want to burn him from inside with a hot flame already "And you feel so good too, I can't wait to be inside you."

"Of fuck." Javi cursed, rolling his hips a little, back arching "Ahh, I think I'm ready, I-"

Yuzuru chuckled at the impatient tone of his voice but didn't stop yet, taking a few more minutes to make sure Javi was really prepared to take him. By the time he finally decided it was enough, Javi was trembling, his cock hard and leaking, and Yuzuru had to take a few calming breathes, reminding himself that they were doing it slow.

"Okay." he breathed out "Now I need you to move a bit, because you're getting on top."

"Oh?" Javi blinked, but sat up rather rapidly, facing Yuzuru. He looked excited and aroused, his pupils blown, and Yuzuru just had to kiss him, deep and slow; he wrapped his arms around Javi and lay down, pulling Javi on top of him. They both moaned quietly when they rubbed against each other, the touch making them both shivers. They kept on kissing for a moment, enjoying the touch of skin against skin, but there was also fire buzzing in both of them, getting impatient, their movements turning greedy.

Yuzuru bit his lip when Javi rolled a condom on and then spread some lube all over Yuzuru's cock, his moves slow and attentive.

"We do it slow." Yuzuru said breathlessly, putting his hands on Javi's waist "Don't rush, okay?"

"Okay." Javi said, his voice quiet, as he braced his hands on Yuzuru's sides, positioning himself "Okay."

If Yuzuru could choose one memory he could keep for the rest of his life, it would have been the look on Javi's face when he was slowly sliding down Yuzuru's cock, eyes closed, lips parted, so many emotions and feelings mixing on his face and creating a picture that was leaving Yuzuru breathless.

"Oh." Javi whimpered, his eyes still closed "Oh, oh-"

"It's good, you're doing good." Yuzuru muttered, rubbing Javi's waist "We have all the time."

To be true, Yuzuru had to force every cell in his body to stay still and not thrust up, right into Javi's tight heat. He was feeling incredible, and Yuzuru had to control his breathing, because all he wanted to do was to flip them over and fuck Javi into the mattress until they both would be screaming.

But he couldn't give in, not yet. Now he had to take care of Javi and make sure that he was feeling good and-

"AH!" Javi cried out when he bottomed out, his body shuddering "Yuzu, Yuzu, I-"

"It's okay." Yuzuru said, his voice strained, hands running up and down Javi's sides soothingly "Take your time-"

His voice died in his throat, because Javi finally opened his eyes, and Yuzuru's heart stuttered. Javi's gaze was dark and hazy, blurred with pleasure, and Yuzuru's throat was dry, pulse pounding in his ears.

"Yuzu." he said quietly, his voice low and hoarse "Yuzu." he repeated, rolling his hips slowly and gasping at the sensation "Oh fuck-" he whined as he moved a bit quicker, clearly getting more comfortable with every second, and Yuzuru couldn't take it any longer.

"I'm going to move." he said raggedly "Javi-"

"Yes, yes." Javi choked out "Move, yes, ah!" he cried out, his back arching and eyes closing again "Fuck!"

The pace was quicker now, Javi raising on his knees and then going down, meeting Yuzuru's thrusts and keening at every stroke that was hitting his prostate.

"Yuzu." he moaned, his voice and expression desperate "I need-" he choked on his words and Yuzuru felt dizzy with arousal and lust.

"Do you want me to fuck you harder?" he hissed, grasping Javi's hips tightly "That's what you want?"

The only answer was Javi's needy moan that turned off some switch in Yuzuru's head, making him lose any hesitation. He fucked up into Javi with hard, sharp thrusts, and Yuzuru knew he didn't have much time left, his whole-body trembling on the brink of an orgasm.

"Come on." he panted, wrapping one hand around Javi's cock and stroking him with fast moves "Come for me, I want to feel you-"

There was a spasm running through Javi's body a second before he cried out loudly, his muscles clenching around Yuzuru, his come covering his stomach. It took Yuzuru two more thrusts to come as well inside of Javi's pulsing body, and he was sure he passed out for a second, his relief so strong it blinded him. He was vaguely aware of Javi falling against his chest, knocking breath out of Yuzuru's lungs, his own breathing rapid and shallow against Yuzuru's neck.

"Hey." Yuzuru muttered after a few seconds, when he found enough strength to speak and ran his hand down Javi's back "Javi, are you okay?"

Javi mumbled something, nuzzling closer and still breathing heavily, and Yuzuru sighed deeply.

"Javi, we should move a little." he said gently but Javi didn't move, and Yuzuru chuckled quietly. He was feeling a bit weak, muscles still trembling with aftershocks, but it seemed that he had to be in the lead still.

"Okay, hold on." he muttered, wrapping his arms around Javi and flipping them over gently before slowly pulling back. Javi whined quietly, his eyes still closed, and cheeks flushed, and he was a sight to behold like that, boneless and with expression filled with bliss.

"I'll be back in a second." Yuzuru said, leaning to press a kiss to Javi's cheek before getting out of the bed and heading to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up quickly, grinning into the mirror, and then grabbed a soft towel and put it under a tap for a moment before going back to the bathroom.

Javi was in the exact same position as before, but he opened his eyes when Yuzuru joined him on the bed, smiling dreamily.

"Hiii." he breathed out and Yuzuru smiled at him, carefully started washing him up with a warm towel.

"Hey." Yuzuru smiled softly "Everything okay?"

"Mhhh." Javi hummed "I'm just going to... lay for a moment."

Yuzuru chuckled at that, putting the towel away and laying down next to Javi; he braced himself on his elbow, so he had a good look at his face, and he felt like his heart was going to melt with an overwhelming fondness he was feeling. He traced Javi's cheekbone with his finger before leaning to kiss him briefly, not really able to keep any distance between them. Javi hummed contentedly, turning his head to look at Yuzuru, and he looked relaxed and tired and happy.

"I'm kinda mad I never done that before." he said and Yuzuru giggled.

"Well I am." he said, putting his hand on Javi's hip, feeling a tiny bit possessive "So you're all mine now."

Javi gasped, his eyes going wide, and he cupped Yuzuru's face, bringing him in for a kiss.

"Thank you." he mumbled against his lips "It was amazing. I hope you-"

"Oh Javi." Yuzuru sighed, withdrawing a little and keeping an eye contact "You're really the best one I ever had, no matter the position. You know how hard it was to hold back, before-?"

"I'm glad to hear that, I was really doubting my self-esteem." Javi smiled and Yuzuru felt a tiny, faint pang of an old guilt. He wondered if he should apologize again, but then Javi yawned, closing his eyes and nuzzling against the pillow.

"I'm going to take a super short nap okay." he mumbled "Wake me up when your parents come back."

"Okay." Yuzuru whispered, kissing his forehead "I've got you, don't worry."

"I know." Javi said sleepily, reaching blindly for Yuzuru's hand and squeezing his fingers.

 

 

"You weren't bored, boys?" his father asked when they got back into the house and found Javi and Yuzuru sitting on a sofa and watching a movie that for Yuzuru was a bit boring, but Javi was going through his second box of tissues.

"Nah, we're good." Yuzuru smiled and Javi nodded; he was trying to suppress a sniffle and failing, causing everyone to chuckle.

"You're a romantic, huh?" Yuzuru's mother touched Javi's cheek "You have everything ready for tomorrow? You're leaving in the afternoon, right? We will drive you."

"Yeah, the bust is a few minutes after 7pm."

"Oh, so you will arrive home in the middle of the night, I will prepare you something to take with you-"

Javi didn't even had a chance to oppose because she already paced to the kitchen.

"You can't change her." Yuzuru's father chuckled before yawning discreetly "Okay boys, I'm heading to sleep, I hope I'll see you both at breakfast!"

"Of course." Yuzuru smiled before standing up and taking Javi's hand "Let's go before you cry yourself to death. You need to have a good sleep."

"Yeah." Javi grinned, something flickering in his gaze "That sounds like a plan."

 

* * *

 

"Call me when you get home." Yuzuru ordered, pressing his face to Javi's neck and clinging to his shoulders.

"It's going to be like, 2am-"

"I don't care, you know I stay awake for long."

"Oh yes I do." Javi chuckled, kissing Yuzuru's temple before gently forcing him to pull back a little "You have fun and rest, and don't miss me too much, okay?"

"Yeah, not possible."

"It's just a week." Javi said, stroking his neck briefly before squeezing his shoulder "And when you come back, we will have all the time."

"Can't you just stay?" Yuzuru pouted and Javi shook his head, making a face at him.

"If I don't want to lose my job, I gotta go back." he said and Yuzuru knew that, but it still didn't stop him from sighing dramatically.

"Okay."

Javi smiled and took Yuzuru's face in his hands, kissing him slow and gentle, and Yuzuru melted into the kiss, already dreading the next few days he would have to spend without feeling those hands and lips on him.

"Okay." Javi murmured, letting go and taking a step back "I will see you soon, Yuzu."

"Have a safe trip." Yuzuru said, raising his hand to wave as Javi started walking backwards, almost bumping into a few people and not caring about that at all. He only stopped looking at Yuzuru when he somehow reached his bus and had to show his ticket to a man standing next to the door.

But before he stepped inside for good, he turned around and sent Yuzuru the biggest, brightest smile that made Yuzuru's heart flutter.

That time, watching Javi leave, he knew that he would see Javi again, and that knowledge was most important thing in his entire life.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday guys!

"How was your day?" Yuzuru asked and Javi sighed deeply on the other side of the line.

"I'm a bit tired, I had to stay after closing to do some quick book counting, because well, I owed that to Patrick."

"What an asshole." Yuzuru said, not really meaning that, but Javi still gasped, offended.

"Excuse me, if he hadn't agreed to take my shifts, I wouldn't have visited-"

"I know, I know." Yuzuru chuckled, shifting a little and making himself more comfortable against the pillows "He was kinda cool to me when- you know."

"He's cool, just... specific." Javi laughed "Okay, what about you? You did something fun today?"

"Mom dragged me out for shopping and I let her buy me clothes she insisted I needed."

"Aww, your mom buys you clothes? That's cute, maybe you would finally get some shirts that wouldn't be two sizes too big-"

"Hey! How dare you?" Yuzuru pouted, and then grinned into the phone "But I bought something myself too."

"Oh yes? What?" Javi asked and Yuzuru giggled.

"I'm not telling you."

"You tease." Javi complained, but his voice was warm "I hope you will show me one day."

"I will consider that." Yuzuru said and then smiled to himself "Javi, how exactly tired are you?"

"Not exhausted." Javi said suspiciously "Why?"

"So, I was thinking... how am I supposed to survive the next four days without you, and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to..." he trailed off and heard Javi's breathing hitching.

"Are you suggesting going back to the first time?" he asked lowly and Yuzuru bit his lower lip.

"Only if you want to." he said quietly, knowing that it still could make Javi feeling a bit uneasy, considering everything what had happened. His heartbeat quickened a little as he was listening to Javi's breathing, and after maybe half a minute of silence he was ready to change the topic, but then Javi inhaled deeply.

"So, what are you wearing?"

"Really?" Yuzuru giggled and Javi scoffed.

"I'm trying! I'm not an expert, you know, I did it literally once."

"I know, I know." Yuzuru said quickly "And you were great, when you stopped being all shy."

"I was pretty embarrassed in the beginning, but then you got me all excited so-" Javi chuckled into a phone and then cleared his throat "What are you wearing?"

"Hmm, black sweatpants and blue t- shirt."

"Blue t-shirt." Javi hummed and then gasped "Wait, have you stolen my shirt? I've been looking for it since I came home!"

"Whoops?" Yuzuru tried, not feeling apologetic at all "It still smells like you." he added suggestively and Javi sighed deeply.

"Then keep it but take your pants off."

"Oh, so you're commanding in here today." Yuzuru chuckled breathlessly, somehow managing to get rid of his sweatpants rather quickly.

"You mind?"

"Nope, it's... refreshing not to have to do the job for a change." Yuzuru said and Javi chuckled.

"But if I turn cringy you stop me, right?"

"Well that won't happen." Yuzuru said and then licked his lips "And what are you wearing?"

"Bold of you to assume I’m wearing something." Javi said lightly and Yuzuru felt a spark of arousal, imagining Javi lying on his bed, completely naked and comfortable.

"Oh yes?" Yuzuru breathed out.

"Yeah. And those nice blue sheets you like so much."

"They're so soft." Yuzuru muttered "Javi?"

"Yes, love?"

"I want you so bad right now."

"Me too." Javi said softly and then exhaled deeply "You have lube somewhere close?"

"Oh fuck, Javi." Yuzuru chuckled shakily "You know that my parents are downstairs, right?"

"Then I guess you’ll have to be quiet?"

"Who are you, you dirty man, and what have you done to Javi?"

"Well, Javi really, really wants to make you feel good now." Javi purred into his ear "Can I?"

"Yes." Yuzuru gasped sliding his hand under the shirt, Javi's shirt, teasing his chest "Yes."

During the call that had started everything, and then during first weeks of their relationship, Javi had needed time to feel more confident during sex but now, after some fun sexual experiences, he was confident and so undeniably sexy he quickly turned Yuzuru into a whimpering mess solely with his words. Keeping his voice low and husky, he told Yuzuru to tease himself, setting a rhythm in which he should stroke himself, agonizingly slow, but Yuzuru didn't dare to rush, mesmerized by the tone of his voice, arousal coiling in his stomach heavily.

He followed Javi's voice when he told him to slowly finger himself, his words hot and dirty and making Yuzuru gasp, and he had to bite his lip not to be too loud.

"Fuck, Javi." he hissed through his gritted teeth as he kept on pushing two fingers inside him "Fuck, it feels-"

"Imagine it's me." Javi panted, his breathing rapid "Imagine it's me, fucking you right now... you feel so good, baby-"

"Javi-"

"Come on Yuzu, fuck yourself like I would fuck you, come on baby, do that for me-"

Yuzuru breathed raggedly, whimpering as he added a third finger in, body arching as his fingers found his prostate and he kept moving his hand mercilessly. He came soon after, his body shaking, and his dizzy mind registered Javi's quiet groans as he came too, the sound making Yuzuru's muscles tremble.

"Oh." he breathed out heavily when he was able to find his voice again "Oh."

"Right?" Javi chuckled, his breathing still rapid "You feeling good?"

"What kind of question is that?" Yuzuru sighed, closing his eyes, feeling warm and happy and completely relaxed "I'm wearing your shirt, I'm talking to you, and I just had a fucking great orgasm. I'm feeling amazing."

"Good to know." Javi chuckled lazily and then sighed "I can't wait to see you."

"Me too." Yuzuru admitted "I miss you so much, it's ridiculous."

"Oh really? How much exactly?"

"Like, I could walk all the way back to Toronto to see you?"

"Oh wow. Big words."

"I so would, for you." Yuzuru insisted and Javi chuckled warmly.

"I know." he said softly before yawning quietly, and Yuzuru's heart melted a little.

"Go to sleep." he said, everything inside him fluttering "I will see you soon."

"I can't wait." Javi said, a bit sleepy "I want to give you a hug."

"Me too."

 

* * *

 

"When will you visit again?"

Yuzuru swallowed the bite of scrambled eggs in his mouth and tilted his head, wondering.

"I will try to visit before summer ends. I would stay longer, but I promised Keiji to be at work in two days and-" he bit his tongue, but his mom smiled fondly.

"You miss Javi, don't you?"

"Yeah." Yuzuru nodded, looking down at his plate and feeling himself blushing "I do."

His mom hummed knowingly, turning around to go back to her lunch preparations.

"He's such a good boy." she said, not turning around, but Yuzuru could sense that she was smiling "And he looks at you with so much love."

"I love him too, mom. So much."

"I can see that as well." she said, glancing over her shoulder and sending him a warm smile, and Yuzuru's heart skipped a beat.

"I think he might be the one." he said and she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him, her gaze more serious but still gentle, and Yuzuru felt like he had to elaborate "I know it's been just a few months, but mom, he's... I-" he fumbled with his words and his mom shook her head as she made her way too him.

"I'm happy." she said, caressing his cheek "I really am. I thought you would never find the one."

"Hey!" Yuzuru exclaimed, offended, and she chuckled, going back to the counter and resuming the chopping.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you have your grandmother's character."

"Meaning I'm insufferable?"

"Oh, careful, young man." she threatened him with a knife "I mean that you need someone who is patient, and understanding, and Javi seems like just a person like that."

"He is." Yuzuru admitted, his throat just a little bit tight "He really is."

 

* * *

 

Yuzuru exhaled loudly, leaning his forehead against the window and looking at the buildings passing behind the glass. The bus was in Toronto already, but he knew that it would take them at least half an hour to get to the bus station, despite the hour. It was a few minutes after 10pm and Yuzuru was done with sitting in that stupid bus. He took his phone and decided to write Javi and complain a little.

 

_me [10.07pm] so close but so far away_

_Javi [10.08pm] you poor thing, and I'm here chilling in my bed_

_Javi [10.10pm]_ _**311.jpg** _

 

Yuzuru gasped and then bit his lip to avoid making any loud sounds that shouldn't be heard in public. He shifted in his seat, crossing his legs a little, and he was half turned on and half angry, because how was he supposed to sit still now?

 

_me [10.13pm] I hate you_

_me [10.13pm] 40 minutes_

 

His blood was buzzing in his veins when he knocked on Javi's door impatiently, fingers gripping the handle of his bag tightly, and that half minute of wait felt like eternity.

When the door opened Yuzuru barely saw that Javi was smiling widely and, sadly, wearing sweatpants, before he basically pushed Javi inside and kissed him, his bag dropping to the floor. Javi let out a quiet, surprised gasp, but wrapped his arms around Yuzuru's waist, kissing him back as he pressed him against the closed door.

"Wow, wow." Javi chuckled when they parted to catch their breaths "Hi-"

"Stop talking." Yuzuru mumbled, kissing him again, hard, pressing his palm against Javi's chest and rolling his hips a little, pleased with the reaction he got "I missed you so much, I need- ah!" he yelped when Javi picked him up suddenly, pressing him even harder against the door and moving his lips to kiss his neck.

"I missed you too." he whispered lowly, squeezing Yuzuru's hips "But we gotta leave this spot now." he ordered, biting Yuzuru's shoulder.

"Whyyyyyy." Yuzuru pouted and Javi pulled back a little and gave him a smug grin.

"Because no offence, baby, but you smell like dust and stale bus air."

"Fucking rude." Yuzuru gasped, but he figured Javi was right, he had spent almost whole day travelling. “But you better carry me there."

"Obviously."

It took them some time to get there, making a lot of stops just to make out against the wall, and they almost knocked one lamp and two pictures down, but after circa fifteen minutes they were standing in the shower, kissing as the warm water ran down their bodies. It was so good, to feel Javi's mouth on his, his body hot and strong, pressed against Yuzuru's.

"You feel so good." Yuzuru moaned, wrapping one leg around Javi’s waist, gasping when their erections rubbed against each other "Javi-"

"Don't worry, I've got you covered." Javi muttered, reaching to a small shelf and then showing Yuzuru a bottle of lube.

"Oh, I see you are prepared." Yuzuru grinned and Javi smiled smugly.

"I was bored without you." he said and Yuzuru had a witty remark ready, but in that moment, he felt a slicked finger pushing inside him, and all he could do was squeak and cling to Javi's shoulders.

"Oh, Javi-" he whispered, resting his forehead against Javi's shoulder.

"Shhh, I've got you." Javi muttered, kissing his temple, and Yuzuru sighed, closing his eyes and melting against Javi's chest, enjoying his warmth and the gentle, familiar press of his fingers.

It was everything he had ever wanted, to have someone to share happiness and intimacy with, to love and be loved back, and now he had that person, someone kind and gentle and beautiful.

"Javi, I need you." he whispered, shuddering, and Javi nodded, kissing him briefly before withdrawing his fingers and quickly applying some lube on his cock, before putting his hands on Yuzuru's hips and picking him up again, smiling widely.

"Ah!" Yuzuru whimpered when Javi filled him up with one slow thrust, one hand wrapping around Javi's shoulders and other bracing on the wall "Javi, fast, please-" he begged and Javi laughed, leaning to kiss Yuzuru's throat.

"Your wish is my command." he said before setting a quick, deep pace that had Yuzuru moaning very soon.

It was frantic and sloppy, both tired but starved to feel each other, their moans mixing with the sound of the falling water and the wet sound of skin against skin.

"So good." Javi gasped, biting on the side of Yuzuru's neck gently, his thrusts turning harsh and erratic "Come on, baby, let me feel you come around me, come on."

It was enough to push Yuzuru across the edge and he came with a high whine, his back arching off the wall, and a moment later Javi groaned loudly and Yuzuru felt his come fill him up, making him moan.

Javi's muscles were trembling as he carefully put Yuzuru down, pressing a sloppy kiss to his mouth before hugging him and cleaning him up with gentle fingers.

"Okay." he smiled when he was done, his eyes sparkling "You hungry?"

"Not really. Just a bit sleepy."

"Then come." Javi said, taking his hand. They dried themselves and went to the bathroom, when they cuddled naked in Javi's bed under his thin sheets, and Yuzuru had never felt so calm and happy before.

"I'm so happy you're here." Javi whispered, pressing hot, wet kiss to Yuzuru's nape "I'm not letting you leave this bed for the next... twenty- four hours."

"I'm not planning to go anywhere." Yuzuru murmured, closing his eyes, and he felt how Javi's breathing quickened a little before he took a deep breath.

"I was thinking-" he started quietly, pressing soft kisses along Yuzuru's shoulder "- maybe you could consider... staying here. For longer. For, uh-" he stammered and Yuzuru opened his eyes, turning around in Javi's embrace to look at him, his heartbeat quickening.

"You... are you asking me to move in?" he asked, and he could see Javi's bashful smile in the dim light of the room.

"I know it's kinda quick, and that we have some his- I mean, I just-"

Yuzuru silenced him with a kiss, surging forward and pressing his lips to Javi's, one hand coming up to cup his cheek.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice shaking a bit "Are you sure you want me to-"

"Yuzu, I love you." Javi said, kissing his nose and forehead before looking him in the eyes, his smile bright "I want you now, and here, and forever."

Yuzuru bit his lower lip, everything inside him fluttering as if he was going to cry.

"I not only want you." he whispered, caressing Javi's face "I also need you. I need you so much, I-" he took a deep breath "Yes, I want to live with you. Yes, yes, yes."

"Good." Javi chuckled, brushing his lips against Yuzuru's "I'll even let you steal my clothes."

 

* * *

 

Moving in with Javi changed a lot of things. First, they could have sex on a daily basis and Yuzuru didn't have to worry about going back to his place to grab a change of clothes or his books, or anything. Second, now he was living with a cat, so he had to get used to being woken up by loud meowing or little paws attacking his feet. And third, he could quit the phone job, now that he had someone to split the bills with.

"You don't have to do this for me." Javi said, his expression troubled "I know it's good money and really, it's not botheri-"

"I know." Yuzuru said, kissing him briefly "And I love you for that, but... I'm tired of it. And I think I can manage with just the coffee shop job. Keiji promised me a raise, so we'll be okay."

"Okay." Javi said, smiling again "I-" he started talking again, but was cut off but a loud ding of his phone "Uhhh, what a timing-" he grumbled, giving Yuzuru an apologetic look before looking at the screen, his eyes widening "Oh my god!"

"What? Is everything okay?"

"I- I won?" Javi said, his expression stunned and Yuzuru narrowed his eyes.

"Huh?"

"That writing competition from forever ago? They just sent me an email… I won? And they want to talk about future cooperation? I-" Javi gaped, shocked, and Yuzuru felt butterflies filling his chest.

"It's so great!" he exclaimed, taking Javi in his arms "I'm so proud of you." he kissed his cheek and Javi chuckled, still bewildered.

"I'm- oh my god." he laughed, rubbing his face and then looking at Yuzuru with his eyes sparkling joyfully "Okay, I'm picking you up after your shift and taking you for dinner. You're finishing at four, right?"

"Yep." Yuzuru nodded, grinning "We need to celebrate this." he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and sighed "But now I need to run, if I'm late Keiji is never giving me that raise."

"Sure, run, run." Javi nodded, kissing him shortly "I'll see you in a few hours."

 

 

Work was super pleasant that day and Yuzuru couldn't stop smiling, which was earning him a lot of fond looks and some extra coins in a tip jar.

"Well, well, well, look at you." Keiji patted his shoulder, smiling smugly "A few months of living with your man and you're still looking high on happiness."

"Oh wow, what a line." Yuzuru rolled his eyes but then grinned "But it's very valid."

"I guess you guys going strong now. When's the wedding?" Keiji asked jokingly but then gaped when he saw Yuzuru's expression "Wait, are you-"

"No, no." Yuzuru shook his head, blushing a little "I mean, I want to, but... we haven’t been together that long, and you know what happened, and-" he waved, feeling his cheeks turning hotter and hotter "And I'm still in school, and I don't want Javi to think that-"

"You don't want me to think what?"

Yuzuru froze, staring at Keiji who was grinning so widely Yuzuru was scared about his jaw staying in one place.

"Javi, hey!" he exclaimed "Me and Yuzu were just talking about you."

"Oh yes?"

Yuzuru sent Keiji a murderous gaze and his boss stuck his tongue at him.

"It's a revenge for wasting my olive oil on I- don't- want- to- know- what." he whispered and Yuzuru almost screeched. Instead, he turned around to see Javi, who was smiling at him widely from the other side of the counter.

"Hi!" he exclaimed happily, leaning to press a brief kiss to Yuzuru's lips "I thought I'd come a bit earlier to grab some small coffee before dinner."

"Yeah, great." Yuzuru stammered, hoping that Javi would let go, but he didn't have such luck.

"So, you don't want me to know something?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows, and Yuzuru knew he really had no choice. Trying to brush the topic away, even with jokes, would make Javi feel unsure, and it was the last thing Yuzuru wanted to happen, given their history.

So, he took a deep breath and looked straight into Javi's warm brown eyes.

"Actually, it's something you should know, probably?" Yuzuru chuckled nervously "That I- I'm going to ask you to marry me, at some point, but I will wait until I'm sure you say-"

"Yes." Javi said and Yuzuru blinked rapidly.

"Huh?"

"Wait, it wasn't a proposal yet. Oh." Javi laughed, his cheeks pink "Well, okay, I will wa-"

"You want to marry me?" Yuzuru asked, stunned, and Javi shrugged, his smile wide and shy.

"Yes?"

Yuzuru gaped, only able to stare at Javi, who was looking back at him, smiling widely and honestly, and Yuzuru felt happy laughter bubbling up his chest.

Had Javi just agreed... to marry him?

"This is the moment when you kiss, guys!" Keiji exclaimed before clearing his throat and yelling "Free cookies for everyone!"

That woke Yuzuru up, and he laughed, loud and stunned, and then curled his fingers on the front of Javi's shirt, forcing him to lean across the counter so they could kiss, sloppy and smiling against each other's mouth.

"Are you for real?" Yuzuru mumbled, his heart fluttering "Really?"

"Yeah." Javi chuckled "Yuzu, I-"

"Okay, okay, hold on." Keiji chimed in, breaking the mood and forcing them to pull apart "I'm happy for you guys, but I have customers to serve, so, Yuzu, take the apron off and leave, enjoy, go buy your man a ring or something, I'll manage for the rest of the shift."

"Thanks." Yuzuru smiled at him "You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Keiji chuckled, his smile fond "Go and be happy, kids."

"That's what we intend to do." Javi giggled, taking Yuzuru's hand and squeezing his fingers.

 

 

"Oh." Yuzuru sighed breathlessly and Javi smiled against his temple, his hand running down Yuzuru's back.

"Everything okay?"

"That is such a stupid question." Yuzuru chuckled, shifting to lay on Javi's chest and look him in the eyes "Hiii." he said, leaning to catch Javi's lips with his, kissing him softly. "Hello." Javi smiled, brushing Yuzuru's bangs away, his eyes sparkling with delight, and Yuzuru just had to kiss him again, on his lips, cheek, jaw, chin, dropping one kiss to the hollow of his neck before looking at him again.

He really couldn't believe it.

"Are you really going to marry me?" he asked and Javi made a face at him.

"Yeah. But if you have some doubts, I can totally take my agreeing back-"

"Shut up." Yuzuru said, patting his chest "I'm just...stunned you said yes."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Just... we haven’t even known each other for a year-"

"Yuzu." Javi cut him off, bringing his hands to Yuzuru's face and caressing his cheeks "I think I knew you were the one even before-" he shook his head "I'm pretty sure you're the one. I've been sure for a long time."

Yuzuru felt a lump forming in his throat and he had to swallow hard, fighting the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Javi was looking at him with a soft smile, kind and loving, and Yuzuru knew that it was all going to be okay, that it was going to be thrilling and wonderful.

"I've got something for you." he found his voice again, reaching to the drawer of the bedside table and taking out a small box "Here." he said, handing it to Javi.

Javi took it, inspecting it, and then looked back at Yuzuru, eyes dark and fond.

"Is this that thing you bought when your mom was buying you clothes?" he asked and Yuzuru snorted. "Maybe. Open it."

Inside the box was a simple silver ring, smooth and not worth that much money, but it meant a world to Yuzuru when Javi took it, a smile dancing on his lips. He had been really intending to wait, a few months at least, but now he could see that there was no point in waiting.

"Thank you." he said quietly and Javi blinked, looking at him.

"For choosing me. Over and over."

Javi smiled, his eyes shining, cupping Yuzuru's cheeks and gently pulling him into a kiss.

"There was no other choice, since I met you." he whispered against Yuzuru's lips "We have to be together, you and me."

And when they kissed, it felt like a vow, a promise to themselves and to each other.

They were going to be together, and the future was going to be wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this story and all your great comments; it was such a fun to write and it was also pretty challenging, but I'm happy with how it all came together. Once again, thank you guys so much, and I'll hopefully see you on the next adventure!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, don't hesitate to tell me what you think!


End file.
